让我先简短祷告一下。 Let me just offer a quick prayer.
主耶稣，非常感谢你赐予我们能奉你的名聚集，思考你如何在历史中行事的特权。 Lord Jesus, thank you so much for the privilege of being able to gather together in your name and to think about how you have and are acting in history.
我们祈求你祝福这段分享的时光。 And we ask your blessing on this time of sharing.
求你帮助我们更深入地洞察过去，使我们能知道我们在历 史长河中的位置，以及你希望我们如何推动历史前进。 Please help us to have greater insight into What has gone before so that we can know where we are in the stream of history and where you want us to help take history.
我们奉耶稣的名祷告。 And we pray this in Jesus' name.
阿们。 Amen.
圣父、圣子、圣灵。 Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
阿们。 Amen.
一位神父走进二年级的教室，想了解他们在学什么。 A priest came into a second grade class and he wanted to know what they were learning.
于是他问道：「谁能告诉我耶稣对婚姻说了什么？」 And so he said, can anyone tell me what Jesus said about marriage?
孩子们偷偷看着地板和墙壁，突然一个小男孩举起手说：「哦，哦！」 And there were sort of furtive looks down at the floor and to the wall, and all of a sudden a little boy shot up his hand and he said, oh, oh!
神父说：「是的，耶稣对婚姻说了什么？」 And the priest said, yes, what did Jesus say about marriage?
小男孩说：「父啊，赦免他们，因为他们所做的，他们不晓得。」 He said, Father, forgive them, they don't know what they do.
童言无忌。 Out of the mouth of babes.
理解婚姻似乎一直是个挑战。 There seems to be an ongoing challenge to understanding marriage.
我们可以说这在我们这个时代是真实的。 We can say it's true of our time.
我们也可以说这在宗教改革时期是真实的。 We can say it was true at the time of the Reformation.
许多人似乎试图模仿好莱坞文化。 Many, many people seem to have tried to mimic Hollywood culture.
当「绝望的主妇」再次成为热门时，我真的很担心，因为我认为有很多人 从媒体中看到的内容获取线索。随着最近更多神父卷入丑闻的揭露，我们 有许多优秀、善良、圣洁的神父，却仅仅因为戴着领圈走动就受到怀疑。 And as Desperate Housewives soars again to the lead, it really concerns me because I think there are an awful lot of people who take their clues from what they see in the media With more recent revelations of priests involved in scandal, we have wonderful, good, holy priests who are suspect just by walking around with a collar.
本尼迪克特·格罗谢尔神父告诉我，他有一次前所未有的奇怪经历。他在 机场看到一个孩子，伸手想摸摸孩子的头，但孩子却被母亲紧紧抱住。 Father Benedict Groeschel told me that it was an unusual experience he'd never had before where he saw a child in the airport and he sort of reached out to tussle the child's head and the child was clutched by the mother.
好像是要把孩子从他身边带走。 As to keep him away from him.
当然，我们还看到一些州甚至考虑重新定义婚姻，这是荒谬的。 And certainly we've got the absurdity of states even thinking about redefining marriage.
为什么会有这么多困惑？ Why is there so much confusion?
我确实认为，部分原因与马丁·路德带来的改革有关，如果你想这么称呼它们的话。 I do think in part, in part, it relates to the reforms, if you want to call them that, that Martin Luther brought about.
他在婚姻和独身生活两方面都引发了革命。 He produced a revolution on both marriage and celibacy.
我们正在经历它的影响。 And we are experiencing effects of it.
首先，我想谈谈教会的永恒教导，从创世记1章26-28节开 始。神说：「我们要照着我们的形像、按着我们的样式造人。」 First of all, I want to touch on the perennial teaching of the church, beginning with Genesis 1, 26-28. Then God said, Let us make man in our own image, after our own likeness.
「使他们管理海里的鱼、空中的鸟、地上的牲畜，和全地，并地上所爬的一切昆虫。」 And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that creeps upon the earth.
于是神照着自己的形像造人。 So God made man in his own image.
乃是照着他的形像造男造女。 In the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.
神创造男人和女人是按他的形象，不是因为他寂寞，也不是因为他无聊， 而是为了让三位一体的神，圣父、圣子和圣灵能分享他们的神圣生命。 God, not because he was lonely, not because he was bored, created man and woman in his image so that the triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit could share their divine life.
这个赐生命的爱者和热爱生命的给予者的团契呼召男人和女人进入创造， 按他们的形象和样式造我们，然后给予他们既是祝福又是命令的祝福。 This communion of life-giving lovers and life-loving givers calls man and woman into creation, making us in their image and likeness And then giving them a blessing which is both a blessing and a command.
神就赐福给他们，又对他们说：「要生养众多，遍满地面，治理这地。」 And God blessed them and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion.
这既是祝福，也是命令。 It was both a blessing and a command.
我们在创世记第二章再次看到这点，就是亚当第一次看到他心爱的人时的反应。 And we see it again in Genesis 2, this response of Adam when he first sees his beloved.
神，圣父、圣子和圣灵，这个家庭呼召男人和女人去效法、去反映、去彰显。 God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit The family calls man and woman to imitate, to image, to reflect.
他们通过成为神的合作者，与神一同创造新生命的机会来实现这一点。 And they get an opportunity to do that by being cooperators with God, co-creators with God in making new life.
现在，在堕落之后，如果你仔细阅读，你会看到所有导致洪水的事情。 Now after the fall, if you read it carefully, you go through all the things that bring us up to the flood.
在洪水之后，在创世记第九章，我们看到完全相同 的祝福命令。神呼召已婚的男女要对生命开放。 And on the other side of the flood, in Genesis 9, we have the exact same blessing command God calls men and women who are married to be open to life.
婚姻是神的主意。 Marriage is God's idea.
事实上，在祷告中，我认为这很美，这是你可以在公教会婚礼中使用的祝 福之一，它是这样说的：「父啊，按照你的计划，男人和女人结合，婚姻 生活被确立为唯一一个没有因原罪而丧失或在洪水中被冲走的祝福。」 In fact, in the prayer, and I think this is so beautiful, this is one of the prayers that you can have, a blessing you can have in a Catholic wedding, it says this, quote, Father, by your plan, man and woman are united, and married life has been established as the one blessing that was not forfeited by original sin or washed away in the flood.
这不是很美吗？ Isn't that beautiful?
也请注意，如果你仔细阅读，先知们真的强调了这一点， 但旧约中的许多其他段落也强调了这一点，尤其是雅歌。 Notice also, if you read carefully, And the prophets really bring this to bear, but many other passages in the Old Testament bring this to bear, especially the Song of Solomon.
神将自己描绘为以色列的丈夫。 God portrays himself as husband of Israel.
他追求她。 He pursues her.
他追求她。 He woos her.
而她是个妓女。 And she's a harlot.
她犯奸淫。 She commits adultery.
她追随其他神。 She goes after other gods.
然而一次又一次，神是那位立约的、忠实的丈夫，不断追求他的子民。 And yet over and over and over, God is that covenantal, faithful husband pursuing his people.
即使她不忠，他仍然忠诚。 He is faithful even when she is not.
现在，在以色列第二次堕落之后，通过申命记，摩西因以色列人心硬，允许离婚。 Now during the time after the second fall of Israel, through the book of Deuteronomy, Moses, for the hardness of the heart of the Israelite people, permits divorce.
这是对那些原本可能被简单地赶走的女性的保护，要求必须写一份休书。 It's a protection for women who otherwise could simply be sent away, that they have to have a bill of divorce written up.
但这并不是原本的意图。 But it was not intended to be this way.
耶稣把这一点说得很清楚，如果你有圣经，可以翻到马太福音第19章3 至9节。有法利赛人来试探耶稣说：「人无论什么缘故都可以休妻吗？」 Jesus makes that very clear, and if you have your Bibles, you can turn to Matthew chapter 19, 3 to 9. Now, the Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?
要明白，法利赛人来不是说：「耶稣啊，你有很多可以教导我们的。」 Now understand, the Pharisees were not coming saying, you have so much to teach us, Jesus.
他们实际上是想陷害他。 They're really trying to trap him.
他们试图让他难堪。 They're trying to make him look bad.
但耶稣从不上当。 But Jesus never falls for that.
其次，你需要知道拉比们有两种不同的观点。 Secondly, you need to know that there were two different mindsets among the rabbis.
有些人认为可以因任何理由写休书，而其他人则认为应该非常严格限制。 Some thought that a bill of divorce could be written for any reason, and others thought it needed to be very restricted.
这是他的回答。 And here's his answer.
「那起初造人的，是造男造女，并且说：因此，人要离开父 母，与妻子连合，二人成为一体。这经你们没有念过吗？」 Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said for this reason, A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
现在要明白他对他们说的是什么。 Now realize what he's saying to them.
这里是当时的博士，神学博士。 Here are the doctors, the theological doctors of the day.
他在说：「嗯，你们曾学过婚姻的基础知识吗？」 And he's saying, hmm, did you ever cover the ABCs of marriage?
「我们为什么不复习一下呢？」 Why don't we just review?
「你们能说出创世记吗？」 Can you say Genesis?
「很好，很好。」 Good, good.
「神是如何设立这个的呢？」 And how is it that God set this up?
我们已经读过耶稣引用的创世记2章24节的那段经文。 We already read that passage from Genesis 2.24 that Jesus is quoting.
然后他在第6节继续说：「这样，他们不再是两个人，乃是一体的了。」 And then he goes on in verse 6, So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
「所以，神配合的，人不可分开。」 What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
这一点非常关键。 This is very critical.
这一直是公教会的教导，不仅仅是丈夫和妻子之间说的 话，而是神用他的话语，他的约，印证了他们的话。 This has always been the Catholic Church's teaching that it is not simply the words spoken between husband and wife, but God seals Their words with his word, his covenant.
他们就对他说：「这样，摩西为什么吩咐给妻子休书，就可以休她呢？」 They said to him, why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away?
摩西从未命令过这样做。 Moses never commanded it.
他允许这样做。 He allowed it.
他准许这样做。 He permitted it.
耶稣说：「摩西因为你们的心硬，所以允许你们休妻，但起初并不是这样。」 He said to them, for your hardness, your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
「我告诉你们，凡休妻另娶的，若不是为淫乱的缘故，就是犯奸淫了。」 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for in chastity and marries another commits adultery.
耶稣在说这是一个不可解除的约束。 Jesus is saying this is an indissoluble bond.
二人已成为一体。 The two have become one flesh.
正如我们之前所说，二人成为一体可能如此真实，以至于九个月后会成为另一个人。 And just as we said earlier that the two becoming one may be so real that it comes nine months later to be another person.
那么，当丈夫和妻子决定不再保持婚姻关系时，孩子的哪一部分可以被分离出来呢？ So what part of a child can be separated out when a husband and wife decide that they will not remain married.
孩子体现了那个不可解除的约束。 The child embodies, embodies that indissoluble bond.
神配合的，人不可分开。 What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
《公教会教理》1639条谈到神用他的话语印证这个约。 The catechism in 1639 speaks of God sealing the covenant with his word.
耶稣在说：「我来是要恢复原初的计划。实际上，我将成为它 成功的原因，因为我有恩典赐给你们，使这一切成为可能。」 And Jesus is saying, I'm here to restore the original plan And in effect, I will be the cause of its success because I have grace to give you to make this happen.
耶稣的第一个神迹发生在哪里？ Where does Jesus' first miracle take place?
它发生在一个婚宴上，确切地说，是在迦拿的婚宴上。 It takes place at a wedding feast, exactly, the wedding of Cana.
这强调了婚姻是美好的这一事实。 This underscores the fact that marriage is good.
这是神计划的一部分。 This is part of God's plan.
其次，它谈到并见证了基督的同在。 And secondly, it talks about, it witnesses to the presence of Christ.
在婚礼上，他是恩典的源泉。 At the wedding, he is the source of grace.
《公教会教理》1642条这样说：「在他们爱情和家庭 生活的喜乐中，他在地上给予他们羔羊婚宴的预尝。」 The Catechism in 1642 says this, quote, in the joys of their love and family life, he gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb.
当然，末世是如何被描述的？ And of course, how is the end of time described?
它是羔羊的婚宴。 It's a wedding feast of the Lamb.
我们正走向一场婚宴。 We're heading to a wedding feast.
好的，圣保罗接着这个话题，他在以弗所书第5章31至33节中说。为这个缘故，他再次 引用创世记2章24节，「为这个缘故，人要离开父母，与妻子连合，二人成为一体。」 Okay, St. Paul picks up on this, and he speaks in Ephesians 5, Verses 31 to 33. For this reason, he's quoting Genesis 2.24 again, for this reason a young man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
「这是极大的奥秘，但我是指着基督和教会说的。」 This mystery is a profound one, and I'm saying it refers to Christ and the church.
「然而，你们各人都当爱妻子，如同爱自己一样。妻子也当敬重她的丈夫。」 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
当他使用「奥秘」这个词时，希腊原文是mysterion。 When he uses the word mystery, the Greek word is mysterion.
这个词翻译成拉丁文就是sacramentum。 The exact same word translated into Latin is sacramentum.
我告诉你们，这是一个奥秘。 I'm saying to you, this is a mystery.
它是一个mysterion。 It is a mysterion.
它是一个sacramentum。 It is a sacramentum.
再次，《公教会教理》1617条这样说：「基督徒的婚姻本身就是一个有效的标记。」 Again, the Catechism in 1617 says this, quote, Christian marriage is in its turn an efficacious sign.
「基督与教会之约的圣事。因为它表示并传达恩 宠，受洗者之间的婚姻是新约的真正圣事。」 The sacrament of the covenant of Christ and the Church Since it signifies and communicates grace, marriage between baptized persons is a true sacrament of the New Covenant.
这是深奥的。 That is profound.
这意味着在我们各自的婚姻中，尽管它们可能简单，可能 有缺陷，我们都在向世界见证基督与教会之间的关系。 That means in our own individual marriages, as simple as they are, as flawed as they can be, we are a witness to the world of the relationship between Christ and the Church.
你看到离婚是如何不符合这一点的。 And you see how divorce does not play into this.
神有多少个妻子？ How many wives does God have?
他只有一个新娘，就是教会。 He has one bride, the church.
因此，在我们的婚姻中反映这个真理是至关重要的。 So it is essential that in our marriages we reflect this truth.
我的孩子们只有一个父亲。 There is one father for my children.
一生一妻，一生一夫。 One wife, one husband for life.
哥林多人生活在一个以性开放闻名的文化中。 Now the Corinthian people lived in a culture that was known for its sexuality.
它可能有点像他们那个时代的拉斯维加斯。 It probably was somewhat similar to a Las Vegas of their time.
圣保罗在哥林多前后书中都提到了一些性问题，但我想只读哥林多前书第7章的几节经文。 And there are a number of sexual issues that St. Paul addresses in both 1st and 2nd Corinthians, but I want to read just a couple of verses from the 7th chapter of 1st Corinthians.
我们先读第1至9节。 We'll read verses 1 to 9 first.
「论到你们信上所提的事，我说男不近女倒好。」 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is well for a man not to touch a woman.
「但为了避免淫乱的事，男子当各有自己的妻子，女子也当各有自己的丈夫。」 But because of the temptation to immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
「丈夫当用合宜之分待妻子，妻子待丈夫也要如此。」 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to the husband.
「妻子没有权柄主张自己的身子，乃在丈夫。」 For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does.
「丈夫也没有权柄主张自己的身子，乃在妻子。」 Likewise, the husband does not rule over his body, but the wife does.
「不可彼此亏负，除非两相情愿，暂时分房。」 Do not refuse one another, except perhaps by agreement, for season.
「以便专心祷告。以后仍要同房，免得撒但趁着你们情不自禁，引诱你们。」 That you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control.
「我说这话，是准你们的，不是命你们的。」 I say this by way of concession, not of command.
「我愿意众人像我一样，但各人领受神的恩赐，一个是这样，一个是那样。」 I wish that all were as I am myself, but each has his own special gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
「我对着没有嫁娶的和寡妇说，若他们常像我就好。」 To the unmarried and the widows, I say it's well for them to remain single as I do.
「倘若自己禁止不住，就可以嫁娶。与其欲火攻心，倒不如嫁娶为妙。」 If they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.
教会一直教导婚姻是克制情欲的良方。 The church has always taught that marriage is a good remedy for concupiscence.
这不是人们结婚的唯一原因，但这是一个有效的理由。 It is not the only reason people marry, but it is a valid one.
圣保罗在谈论为主独身的美好和恩赐。 And St. Paul is talking about the beauty and gift that it can be to be single for the Lord.
在自制力的问题上，对某些人来说结婚可能更好。 In the issue of self-control, it could be better for someone to be married.
在32至35节中，他进一步阐明为什么独身状态是如此美好和有益。 On down in verse 32 to 35, he talks a little bit more to try to give clarity on why the single state is such a good and helpful state.
「我愿你们无所挂虑。」 I want you to be free from anxieties.
「没有娶妻的，是为主的事挂虑，想怎样叫主喜悦。娶了妻的，是为世上的事挂虑。」 The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord, but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs.
「想怎样叫妻子喜悦。他是分心的。」 How to please his wife, and his interests are divided.
「没有出嫁的女子和处女，是为主的事挂虑，要身体、灵魂都圣洁。」 And the unmarried woman or girl is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.
「已经出嫁的，是为世上的事挂虑，想怎样叫丈夫喜悦。」 But the married woman is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please her husband.
「我说这话是为你们的益处，不是要束缚你们，乃是要叫 你们行合宜的事，得以殷勤服事主，没有分心的事。」 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
你看，独身的人不会被婚姻和家庭生活自然带来的许多顾虑所束缚。 You see, someone who is single is unencumbered with so many of the concerns that naturally come with marriage and family life.
这就是为什么他在38节继续说：「所以娶自己的未婚妻为妻的是好，不娶的更是好。」 And that's part of why he goes on in verse 38 to say, so that he who marries his betrothed does well and he who refrains from marriage will do better.
婚姻是好的。 Marriage is good.
为基督独身甚至更好。 Single for Christ is even better.
这不应该冒犯我们这些已婚的人。 That's not something that needs to offend any of us who are married.
我没有错过神对我生命的旨意，因为我已婚。 I have not missed God's will For my life, because I'm married.
我其实很感激我们在这个问题的另一面成为了天主教徒，因为 我知道斯科特和我会各自在独身或结婚的问题上深深挣扎。 I'm actually grateful that we became Catholics on the other side of the issue because I know Scott and I would have wrestled very deeply individually about being single or married.
既然我们已婚，我知道神的旨意是要我结婚。 And since we're married, I know God's will is that I be married.
重点是，在我的生命中，神对我最高的呼召是婚姻。 The point is, in my life, God's highest call is marriage.
我没有错过神的计划。 I haven't missed God's plan.
但我仍然可以承认，如果有人能全心全意地献身于基督。 But I can still acknowledge the fact that if Someone can be single-heartedly devoted to Christ.
那是一个客观上更好的状态。 That is an objectively better state.
婚姻是这个时代的标志，向世界见证基督与教会之间的关系。 Marriage is a sign of this present age, a witness to the world of the relationship between Christ and the Church.
独身的人是将来世界的见证，在那里不娶也不嫁。 A celibate person is a witness of the world to come in which there will not be marriage or giving in marriage.
现在，圣奥古斯丁在写到婚姻时清楚地陈述了这些圣经的结论。 Now, St. Augustine clearly states these biblical conclusions when he writes about marriage.
他谈到婚姻是一种圣事，是彼此和孩子们获得恩典的途径。 He talks about marriage as a sacrament, a means of grace for each other and for the children.
其次，他谈到婚姻是一种不可解除的约束。 Secondly, he speaks about it being an indissoluble bond.
他还解决了牧养关切，即当婚姻中存在巨大敌意或难以忍受的信仰差异时的问题。 And he addresses the pastoral concerns when there is great animosity in a marriage or a difference in cult that becomes unbearable.
但他澄清说，教会的立场是你唯一能做的就是永久分居。 But he clarifies that the church's position is the only thing you could do is a permanent separation.
离婚和再婚不是一个选择。 Divorce and remarriage would not be an option.
然后他谈到了婚姻的好处。 And then he speaks about the benefits of marriage.
生育的可能性，对贞洁的帮助，以及永久结合的关系。 The possibility of having children, the assistance with chastity, and the relationship of a permanent union.
一个永久的结合。 A permanent union.
这一点被教会、圣托马斯·阿奎那和许多其他人反复肯定。 And this is affirmed over and over by the Church, by St. Thomas Aquinas and many others.
当我们来到特伦特会议时，这次会议部分是为了回应 宗教改革，所有这些都被编纂进了《教会法典》。 And when we get to the Council of Trent, which met in part in response to the Reformation, all of this is codified in the Code of Canon Law.
事实上，在那时，为了解决牧养关切，我们开始能够读到关于婚姻无效的内容。 In fact, at that point, addressing pastoral concerns, we begin to be able to read about annulments.
这不是天主教式的离婚。 Now this is not divorced Catholic style.
这就是我的家人常常拿来指责我的。 And that's what my family tends to throw in my face.
「哦，你已经离婚了，你只是用了一个不同的名字而已。」 Oh, you've got divorced, you just call it by a different name.
婚姻无效是一个深思熟虑的过程，你意识到真正的婚姻并未发生。 An annulment is, it's intended to be a very thoughtful process where you realize that a true marriage did not occur.
不是因为你觉得它没有发生，而必须是一些客观的原因。 Not because you didn't feel like it occurred, it has to be something objective.
客观标准包括没有自由同意，可能是来自父母、权威或甚至你预期的配偶的压力。 And the objective criterion include either Free consent was not there, either by pressure from parents or authorities or even your intended spouse.
还可能有障碍，我不会列举清单。 And there can be impediments, and I won't go into the list.
但有具体的原因。 But there were specific reasons.
在路德的时代，有一些神父和主教滥用这一点，他们设立 了标准，但不知怎的，如果有钱交换，问题就消失了。 Now, in Luther's day, there were priests and bishops who misused that, who had a criterion set up, but somehow or another, if money changed hands, problems went away.
有客观的原则，但有人没有正确地应用它们。 There were objective principles, but there were people who were not correctly applying them.
他们没有忠实于基督对他们的呼召。 They were not being faithful to what Christ had called them to be.
其次，有许多神父和主教有情妇，有私生子。 Secondly, there were many priests and bishops who had concubines, who had illegitimate children.
一方面，他们在谈论独身的荣耀，另一方面，他们却没有实践。 On the one hand, they're speaking about the glories of celibacy, and on the other hand, they are not living it.
这在许多天主教徒中造成了极大的焦虑。人们需要被呼召忠于自己的圣召。 This created great angst in many Catholics People needed to be called to be faithful to their vocation.
还有一些人没有结婚，而是生活在罪中。 There were also a number of people who were not marrying, but simply living in sin together.
也有人结了婚却有外遇。 And there were people who were marrying and having affairs.
因此，淫乱和通奸都很普遍。 So both fornication and adultery abounded.
在某些方面，这听起来与今天并没有太大的不同。 It doesn't sound a whole lot different in some ways than today.
在这种文化混乱中，马丁·路德不仅挑战并放弃了天 主教信仰，而且发现自己需要重新思考婚姻神学。 And in the midst of this cultural confusion, Martin Luther not only challenged and then abandoned the Catholic faith, But found himself in a position where he needed to rethink the theology of marriage.
他自己曾发过独身誓言，但后来放弃了，他还帮助一个修女和一 群修女（实际上她是其中之一）逃离修道院，最后他与她结婚。 He himself had taken a vow of celibacy, which he abandoned, and he assisted a nun and a group, actually she was one of a group of nuns, in fleeing a convent and he eventually married her.
现在我将简要谈论他在婚姻方面写作和讲述的六个不同领域。 Now I'm going to speak briefly on six different areas that he wrote and spoke about marriage.
他说，既然婚姻从一开始就是神的意图，它实际上属于自然状态而不是超自然状态。 He said, since marriage was intended from the beginning, it really falls into a natural state rather than a supernatural state.
因此，应该由君主而不是教宗制定规则。 And therefore, the prince, not the pope, should be setting up regulations.
因此，他授权新教国家在教会范围之外管理婚姻。 And so he empowered Protestant states to regulate marriage outside of the bounds of churches.
他说，我们希望神祝福婚姻，但这是一个民事事务。 He said, we want God to bless marriages, but it's a civil matter.
其次，他否认婚姻具有圣事性质。 Secondly, he denied that marriage had a sacramental character.
它是一个合同。 It was a contract.
第三，既然神创造男人和女人是为了结婚，所以「 没有比婚姻更高的职分、地位、条件或工作」。 Third, since God created man and woman to be married, there is, quote, no higher office, estate, condition, or work than the estate of marriage.
换句话说，不仅独身不是更高的，我实际上会讲 到下一点，但婚姻需要被宣称为最高的状态。 In other words, not only is celibacy not higher, well that I'll actually get to the next one, But marriage needs to be proclaimed as the highest state.
第四，事实上，所有可能结婚的人都应该结婚。 Fourth, in fact, everyone should be married who possibly can be married.
引用他的话：「这不是自由选择或决定的问题，而是一种自然和必 要的事情，凡是男人就必须有女人，凡是女人就必须有男人。」 Quote, for it's not a matter of free choice or decision, but a natural and necessary thing that whatever is a man must have a woman and whatever is a woman must have a man.
换句话说，你需要性。 In other words, you need sex.
我是说，你现在听到这种心态有多少？ I mean, how much do you hear this mentality today?
每个人都必须吃饭，每个人都必须喝水，每个人都必须睡觉，每个人都必须有性生活。 Everybody's got to eat, everybody's got to drink, everyone's got to have sleep, and everyone has to have sex.
我们需要能够直视人们的面孔说，没有人因为没有性生活而死亡。 We need to be able to look people in the face and say, no one ever died for not having sex.
我们都需要爱。 We all need love.
没有爱你可能会死，但爱和性不一定等同。 You could die without love, but love and sex are not necessarily equivalent.
婚姻行为是爱的表达。 The act of marriage is an expression of love.
但是，选择独身的人有很多方式可以给予和接受非性的爱。 But there are many, many ways in which people who choose celibacy can give and receive love that is not sexual.
这不是一种需求。 This is not a need.
我们并不是因为不允许神父结婚而导致他们做出性方面的错事。 We are not having priests do things that are wrong sexually because we're denying them a wife.
我听到许多新教徒对我这样说。 And I have heard many Protestants say that to me.
如果你想解决这些困难，就允许结婚。 that if you wanted to clear up the difficulties, allow marriage.
我可以告诉你，在新教牧师中，外遇、遗弃配偶和离婚的比例至少相同，可能更高。 I can tell you that among Protestant pastors, you have at least as the same percent, maybe higher, of affairs and abandonment of spouses and divorce.
第五，独身呢？ Fifth, what about celibacy?
路德说这是一个不可能的理想。 Luther said it was an impossible ideal.
事实上，引用他的话：「贞洁不在我们的能力之内。」 In fact, quote, chastity is not in our power.
所有人都是为婚姻而造的。 All are created for marriage.
神不允许任何人独处。 God doesn't permit that anyone be alone.
女人被造不是为了保持处女，而是为了怀孕生子。 A woman is not created to be a virgin but to conceive and bear children.
对单身男人，人们既不能抱有希望也不能有信心，只能常常恐惧。 With single men one can have neither hope nor confidence but only constant fear.
这是多么扭曲和歪曲的观点，完全不考虑圣保罗在哥林多前书第7章所写的 内容。一个人说他放弃天主教会是因为教会已经背离了圣经，然后转身又从 根本上否定圣经中非常清楚的内容，这显示他站在多么不稳固的立场上。 What a twisted and distorted view that does not take into any regard what St. Paul has written in 1 Corinthians 7. For a man to say that he abandons the Catholic Church because the Church has abandoned Sacred Scripture and then turn around and fundamentally deny what is very clear in Sacred Scripture shows what very shaky ground he was on.
因此，在他的思想、教导和对他人的巨大影响中，独身是不符合圣经的，而且是不自然的。 So in his thinking and in his teaching and great influence of others, celibacy was unbiblical, And it was unnatural.
那么，我们如何活出贞洁？ Now, how do we live chastity?
我们都被呼召在自己的圣召中保持贞洁。 We're all called to be chaste within our vocation.
这是靠着基督的恩典。 It's by the grace of Christ.
圣保罗在腓立比书4章13节说：「我靠着那加给我力量的，凡事都能做。」 St. Paul says in Philippians 4.13, I can do all things through Christ.
当神呼召你保持单身时，他能给你恩典以贞洁的方式保持这种状态。 When God calls you to be single, He can give you the grace to remain in that state in a chaste way.
当神呼召你进入婚姻时，你能在婚姻中保持忠诚。 When God calls you to marriage, you can remain faithful in that marriage.
当神呼召你进入奉献生活时，他能给你恩典在那种状态下作为独身的男人或女人保持贞洁。 When God calls you to consecrated life, He can give you the grace of that state to be chaste as a celibate man or woman.
这是一段引用。 That's a quote.
一方面，他说婚姻行为从来都不是没有罪的。 On the one hand, he said the act of marriage was never without sin.
然后他提出这样的观点，引用：「神以他的恩典原谅了它，因为婚姻制度是 他的工作，他在罪中并通过罪保存了他在婚姻中植入和祝福的所有美好。」 And then he offers this, quote, God excuses it by His grace because the estate of marriage is His work and He preserves in and through the sin all the good which He's implanted and blessed in marriage.
换句话说，每次你进行婚姻行为和婚姻时，你都在犯罪。 In other words, every time you enter into the act of marriage and marriage, you're sinning.
但这是他对恩典的理解。 But this is His understanding of grace.
神只是会忽视它，因为底线是这是最好的，其中有善，所以他无论如何都会祝福它。 God's just going to overlook it because bottom line is the best that there is, there's goodness in it and so He'll just bless it anyway.
再次强调，这是多么扭曲和歪曲的观点。 Again, what a perverted and distorted view.
现在，我们确实可能在做任何事时都带有一些罪。 Now, it is certainly possible for us to do anything with some sin.
我们可能以一种不荣耀神的方式养育子女。 We can parent in a way that's not giving honor and glory to God.
我们可以在婚姻行为中以不恰当的方式拥抱对方，这可能是有罪的。 We can embrace one another in the act of marriage and act in a way that is inappropriate and could be sinful.
但婚姻关系中的行为本身并不是罪恶的。 But the act itself in the bonds of marriage is not a sinful act.
事实上，托马斯·阿奎那，这不是直接引用，而是一位谈论托马斯·阿奎那的 人说的，所以这不是他的原话，但这是一位多明我会学者说的，引用：「只要 具备神圣婚姻的正确条件，婚姻行为就是一种有德行和值得称赞的行为。」 And in fact, Thomas Aquinas, now this is not a quote, this is a person who was speaking about Thomas Aquinas, so it's not his words, but it is a Dominican scholar, said, quote, provided the right conditions for holy matrimony, the act of marriage is a virtuous and meritorious act.
这是一个人给另一个人的礼物。 It's a gift, one person to another.
这是一个美好的行为，是神所命定的。 It's a beautiful act, ordained by God.
现在，特伦特会议解决了一些改革者的担忧。 Now, some of the reformers' concerns were addressed by the Council of Trent.
这些担忧需要被解决。 Concerns that needed to be addressed.
首先，神父的独身被肯定了。 First of all, priestly celibacy was affirmed.
当然，如果你已经发了独身誓言，你就应该忠于这个誓言。 Of course, if you have taken a vow of celibacy, you are to be faithful to that.
其次，父母永远不应该也不能为强迫孩子选择独身或婚姻辩护。 Secondly, parents should never and could not justify forcing their children to choose either celibacy or marriage.
两者都必须自由选择。 Both had to be entered in freely.
由孩子们。 by children.
第三，他们没有像马丁·路德那样将独身视为对婚 姻的拒绝，而是将基督呈现为为天国独身的榜样。 And third, rather than seeing celibacy as a rejection of marriage the way Martin Luther cast it, they present Christ as the model of celibacy for the kingdom.
因此，耶稣既是教会的新郎，显然也是独身的。 And so Jesus is both bridegroom to the church and obviously celibate.
耶稣肯定婚姻。 Jesus affirms marriage.
他将婚姻提升到圣事的层面。 He's the one who elevates it to the level of a sacrament.
然而，他让我们知道天国不是关于结婚和嫁娶的 ，因为我们与主之间有比婚姻中更亲密的关系。 And yet, he lets us know that heaven is not about being married and given in marriage because there is greater intimacy than we can even have in marriage between ourselves and our Lord.
《公教会教理》这样说：「为天国而守贞是洗礼恩宠的展开。」 The Catechism says this, Virginity for the sake of the kingdom of heaven is an unfolding of baptismal grace.
「为天国而尊重贞洁和基督徒对婚姻的理解是不可分割的。」 Esteem of virginity for the sake of the kingdom and the Christian understanding of marriage are inseparable.
它们不是相互对立的，它们是不可分割的，而且它们相互强化。 they're not one versus the other, they're inseparable, and they reinforce each other.
我真诚地想知道，如果天主教家庭在对生命开放的问题上没有 如此危机，我们是否会看到更多人选择成为神父和修道生活？ I honestly wonder that if we would not have such a crisis on the issue of openness to life in Catholic families, would we not see many, many more vocations to the priesthood and religious life?
这来自一种慷慨的精神，当孩子们在一个充满慷慨精神的家庭中长大，无论以何种方 式，他们是否也会渴望对神慷慨，这当然也可以在婚姻中，在神圣的婚姻中体现？ This comes from a generous spirit that as children are raised in a family Where the spirit is generosity, will they not also desire, in whatever way that is, and that most certainly can be in marriage as well, holy matrimony, to be generous themselves to God?
现在，关于不忠呢？ Now, what about infidelity?
改革者们是如何回应的？ How did the reformers respond to that?
嗯，有不同的回应。 Well, there were different responses.
他们实际上采取了各种措施，从驱逐犯通奸者，到公开鞭打他们，甚至可能处决他们。 They actually went the full gamut of either sending someone away who had committed adultery, or publicly flogging them, possibly even executing them.
但他们也允许离婚和重婚。 But they also permitted divorce and bigamy.
路德本人更倾向于重婚而不是离婚。 Luther himself preferred bigamy to divorce.
当黑森的菲利普亲王写信给马丁·路德说，虽然他已经结婚，但他经常 犯通奸罪，他想要能够娶第二个妻子时，路德让墨兰顿回信给这个人。 When the prince, Philip of Hesse, wrote to Martin Luther saying that though he was married, he frequently committed adultery and he wanted to be able to take a second wife, Luther asked Melanchthon to write back to this man.
墨兰顿写道，路德和其他五位改革者签署了这封信，其中包括 这句话，引用：「我们在誓言下宣布，这应该秘密进行。」 Melanchthon wrote, Luther and five other reformers signed it and it included this sentence, quote, We declare under an oath that it ought to be done secretly.
「君主有妾并不罕见，这种适度的生活方式比通奸更令人满意。」引用结束。 It is nothing unusual for princes to have concubines and this modest way of living would please more than adultery, end quote.
当然，这只有在你将通奸定义为超出一定数量的婚姻之外时才成立。 Of course, that's only if you define adultery as being outside of a number of marriages.
当这事公开时，兰斯顿是这样描述的，他说他「几乎悔恨得要死」，引用结束。 When it became public, Langston, this is the description, he said he was, quote, sickened almost to death with remorse, end quote.
但这不是路德的回应。 But that's not Luther's response.
路德基本上是对公众说不，私下里说是。 Luther basically said to the public, say no, privately say yes.
然后路德说：「我不能禁止一个人娶几个妻子，因为这并不违背圣经。」引用结束。 And then Luther said this, quote, I cannot forbid a person to marry several wives for it doesn't contradict scripture, end quote.
再次，因为心硬，旧约中有君王有多个妻子，在每一 个案例中你都能看到拥有多个妻子带来的所有灾难。 Again, for the hardness of heart, There were princes in the Old Testament who had more than one wife, and in every case you see all of the calamities that come from having numerous wives.
耶稣和圣保罗澄清说，从起初就不是这样，而是一夫一妻，不可解除的约束。 Jesus and then St. Paul clarify that from the beginning it was not to be so, but one man, one wife, indissoluble bond.
路德还试图解决这个问题：如果你的配偶无法生育怎么办？ Luther also tried to address the problem, what if you have a spouse who is unable to have children?
他的解决方案是秘密再婚。 His solution was a secret additional marriage.
这样她就能得到满足，因为她不满足是不对的，而且他们将有孩子可以抚养。 That way she can be satisfied because it's not right for her not to be satisfied, and they will have children to raise.
重婚需要「对无能力者的特殊宽容」。 Bigamy required, quote, exceptional tolerance for the incapacitated person.
如果那个人缺乏这种慈善精神，当你知道自己不能生育时，允许你的配偶与他人结 婚，生育你将以某种方式称之为自己的孩子，如果那个人缺乏慈善精神，健康的配 偶应该逃到一个不会因重婚而受到迫害的地方，这实际上意味着一个穆斯林国家。 And if that person lacked that kind of charity of spirit, charity of spirit to permit, when you know that you cannot have a child, to permit your spouse to marry another, to have children that you will in some way call your own, if that person lacked charity of spirit, the healthy spouse should flee to a place where he or she would not be persecuted for bigamy, which would actually mean a Muslim land.
因为这必须在基督教国家之外。 Because it would have to be outside of Christian lands.
换句话说，与其保持忠诚，不如抛弃一个不允许你与他人发生性关系的无能配偶。 In other words, it would be better to abandon an impotent spouse who won't allow you to go ahead and have sex with another person than to remain faithful.
这只是一个形成新教思想的个人，但他非常有影响力。 This is only one individual who was forming Protestant thought on this, but he was very influential.
《公教会教理》对经历不孕之痛的夫妇有着如此美好的描述。 The Catechism speaks so beautifully about a couple experiencing the pain of infertility.
在1654条，《公教会教理》说：「他们的婚 姻可以散发出仁爱、好客和牺牲的丰硕果实。」 In 1654, the Catechism says, quote, their marriage can radiate a fruitfulness of charity, of hospitality, and of sacrifice.
这是罗马公教会的回应。 That is the Roman Catholic response.
不是说，哦，抛弃那个男人，抛弃那个女人。 Not, oh, ditch the guy, ditch the girl.
那离婚呢？ What about divorce?
改革者们在这一点上也无法达成一致。 The Reformers couldn't agree on that either.
他们几乎在任何事情上都无法达成一致。 They really didn't agree on hardly anything.
路德认为，不忠、性无能、威胁生命的敌意、一方拒 绝发生婚姻关系和遗弃都可以成为离婚的正当理由。 Luther thought it should be justified for infidelity, for impotence, for life-threatening hostility, for one partner refusing to have marital relations, and for desertion.
墨兰顿将其限制在不忠和遗弃上。 Melanchthon limited it just down to infidelity and desertion.
但早期改革者马丁·布塞尔说，只需要双方同意就可以。 But Martin Busser, who was an early reformer, said there was only need for mutual consent.
换句话说，无过错离婚。 In other words, no-fault divorce.
无过错离婚。 No-fault divorce.
我们就分道扬镳，然后各自选择别人。 We'll just have a parting of the ways and we'll pick someone else.
现在，在子女问题上，改革者实际上确实与天主教徒站在一起，反对避孕和堕胎。 Now, in the area of children, The Reformers actually did stand with Catholics in opposition to contraception and abortion.
事实上，有一本由查尔斯·普罗万写的有趣的书，名为《圣经与节育》，他在书中引用 了路德、墨兰顿、慈运理、加尔文和许多其他人的话，以及直到1930年新教圈子里 的关键宗教领袖的话，当时他们与天主教会一致认为避孕本质上是邪恶和不道德的。 In fact, there's an interesting book written by a man named Charles Provan called The Bible and Birth Control, where he documents with quotes from Luther, Melanchthon, Zwingli, Calvin, and many, many others, and also key religious leaders among Protestant circles all the way up to 1930, Where there was a unanimous agreement with the Catholic Church, the contraception was intrinsically evil and immoral.
然而，其中一个危险，也是我认为新教徒在某种程度上无法坚持立场的原因，是因为从 20世纪初玛格丽特·桑格开始的性革命一直持续到现在，它缺乏天主教教导的平衡。 However, one of the dangers and why I think in part the Protestants were unable to, in a sense, hold the line as the sexual revolution revved up from Margaret Sanger early in the 20th century all the way up to the present, It lacked the balance of the Catholic teaching.
这里只是路德的一句话。 Here's just one of Luther's quotes.
「即使女人生育到疲惫不堪或最终耗尽自己，换句话说，死亡，这就是她们存在的目的。」 Even if women bear themselves weary or ultimately bear themselves out, in other words, die, this is the purpose for which they exist.
现在，天主教会不会说女人应该生孩子直到死亡。 Now, the Catholic Church would not say that women are supposed to have babies until they die.
他们也不会说如果你无法生育就抛弃你的配偶。 And they would not say abandon your spouse if you're unable to have children.
所以今天，在我们的国家，主要受新教思想影响，民法规定了婚姻、离婚和再婚。 So today, in our country, which has been mostly influenced by Protestant thought, civil law regulates marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
新教内部没有共识。 There is no Protestant consensus.
我不知道这个房间里的皈依者代表了多少教派，但我可以保证我们会有相当多样化的观点。 I don't know how many denominations converts in this room could represent, but I can guarantee we would have quite a diversity of opinion.
然而，正因为有如此多样化的观点，就没有权威来理解婚姻。 And yet, because there is such a diversity of opinion, there is no authority on which to understand marriage.
今天甚至有人认为他们可以重新定义婚姻。 There are even those today who think they can redefine it.
自1930年以来，我不知道有任何一个新教派别继续说避孕本质上是邪恶的。 Since 1930, I am not aware of a single Protestant denomination that continues to say that contraception is intrinsically evil.
在大多数教派中，几乎所有教派，甚至允许堕胎。 And in most denominations, almost all, Even abortion is permitted.
我们在公教会中有什么？ What do we have in the Catholic Church?
我们有关于婚姻的信仰宝库。 We have the deposit of the faith on marriage.
我们通过《公教会教理》学到的教导，与我们的曾曾祖父母在世时的教导是一样的。 We are being taught through our catechism of the Catholic Church the same teaching that was around when our great-great-grandparents were here.
我们可以知道，这种教导将传给我们的曾曾孙子，我们可 能在天堂这边见不到他们，但他们会得到同样的教导。 And we can know that it's the teaching that our great-great-grandchildren who will come after us, whom we may not meet on this side of heaven, they will get the same teaching.
我不知道你是否在报纸上看到了，但报纸报道说，最近在罗马召 开的主教会议上，令人震惊的是，他们重申了神父的独身制。 I don't know if you caught it in the newspaper, but the newspaper reported in Steubenville that when the Senate of Bishops met in Rome recently, shockingly, they reaffirmed priestly celibacy.
我们文化中的许多领袖不理解这一点。 So many leaders in our culture do not get it.
改变它不是我们的责任。 It is not up to us to change it.
我们只需忠实地宣扬我们所接受的真理，然后将其传承下去。 It is but for us to be faithful in proclaiming the truth we've received and then passing it on.
《公教会教理》1661条说：「婚姻圣事表示基督与教会的结合。」 Catechism in 1661 says this, the sacrament of matrimony signifies the union of Christ and the church.
「它赐给夫妻恩宠，使他们以基督爱教会的爱来彼此相爱。」 It gives spouses the grace to love one another with the love which Christ has loved his church.
「因此，圣事的恩宠完善了夫妻的人性之爱，加强了他们不 可解除的结合，并在他们通往永生的道路上圣化他们。」 The grace of the sacrament thus perfects the human love of spouses, strengthens their indissoluble unity, and sanctifies them on the way to eternal life.
如果你已婚，你的圣召就在婚姻中。 If you are married, your vocation It is in marriage.
它是针对那个特定的个人，他或她在你通往天堂的道路上扮演着重要的角色。 It is to that specific individual and he plays a role or she plays a significant part of your way to heaven.
真正的恩宠被接受了。 Real grace is received.
这是《公教会教理》中引用的特伦特会议的话。 That is a quote in the Catechism from the Council of Trent.
这是宗教改革后给出的教导。 That is the teaching given at the time after the Reformation.
这是我们通过《公教会教理》接受的教导，它会被反复强调。现在，其中一个挑战。 It is the teaching we receive through the Catechism and it will be said over and over Now, one of the challenges.
我们如何帮助更多天主教徒理解这一点？ How do we help more Catholics understand this?
我们如何帮助呼吁所有发过独身誓言的人忠于誓言？ How do we help call all who have taken the vow of celibacy to be faithful to it?
在G.K.切斯特顿在英国生活和写作的时候。 At the time that G.K. Chesterton was Alive in England and writing.
有人举办了一种比赛。 Someone had a kind of contest.
其实不是比赛。 It wasn't a contest.
它是一种...我猜是一种比赛。 It was a... I guess it was a kind of contest.
我想没有奖励，但无论如何。 I don't think there was an award, but anyway.
他们想知道人们对如何总结世界的问题有什么看法。 They wanted to know people's opinions about how do you summarize what's wrong with the world.
于是人们写文章，他们把文章印出来，然后G.K .切斯特顿写道：「我是G.K.切斯特顿。」 And so people would write essays, and they were printing them, and then G.K. Chesterton wrote, and he said, I am G.K. Chesterton.
这是什么意思？ What does that mean?
这意味着我从我自己开始。 It means that I begin with me.
它始于我对配偶的忠诚。 It begins with my fidelity to my spouse.
它始于我对基督的新娘，即教会的忠诚。 It begins with my fidelity to Christ's spouse, the Church.
我们必须用我们的生命见证真理，将我们的身体置于危险之中。 We must witness to the truth with our lives, putting our bodies on the line.
《公教会教理》2365条说，婚姻圣事使男女能进入基督对教会的忠诚。 The Catechism in 2365 says the sacrament of matrimony enables man and woman to enter into Christ's fidelity to the Church.
根据诗篇89篇1节，耶稣是忠信的。忠诚是圣灵的果实。 Jesus is the faithful one, according to Psalm 89.1. Faithfulness is a fruit of the Spirit.
我在格罗夫城学院上英语课时，教授说了我听过的最疯狂的话之一。 I was in an English class at Grove City College, and the professor said one of the most crazy things I ever heard.
他说，如果你能自由地让你的配偶有外遇，你就知道你有一个好婚姻。 He said, you will know if you have a good marriage If you're free to let your spouse have an affair.
他说，我会进一步说，如果你结婚五年了，你的配偶还没有外遇 ，你就没有一个健康的婚姻，因为你太限制人了，你太控制了。 He said, and I would go further, I would say, if you've been married five years and your spouse hasn't had an affair, you don't have a healthy marriage because you're too restricting, you're too controlling.
下课后我走到他面前说：「考夫曼博士，我认为你完全错了。」 And I went up to him after class and I said, Dr. Kaufman, I think you are completely wrong.
我说，恕我直言，我是一个基督徒。 I said, with all due respect, I'm a Christian.
我有圣灵。 And I have the Holy Spirit.
我要嫁给一个基督徒，我相信他也会有圣灵。 And I'm going to marry someone who's a Christian, and I believe he'll have the Holy Spirit.
这并不是说我们不会跌倒。 And it's not that we couldn't fall.
但圣灵的果子之一是忠诚。 But one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is faithfulness.
我相信神希望我们忠诚。 And I believe that God wants us to be faithful.
他会给我们力量保持忠诚。 And he's going to give us the strength to be faithful.
靠我们自己，我们做不到。 On our own, we can't do it.
靠我们自己，我们生活在新约作者所说的同样的时代。 On our own, we live exactly in the same kind of times the New Testament writers talked.
我们生活在一个邪恶和淫乱的世代。 We live in an evil and adulterous generation.
你翻看电视频道。 You flip through the channels.
找一个节目，里面没有人同居或有外遇，也不会因为 他们的表演技巧高超而让你对错误的人产生同情。 Find a show that doesn't in some way either have people cohabiting or people having affairs and getting your heartstrings to pull for the wrong person because of how good they are at their craft.
我们该怎么办？ What are we to do?
首先，我们必须接受婚姻的终身承诺。 First of all, we must embrace the lifelong commitment of our marriage.
这是我们通向圣洁的道路。 This is our path to holiness.
主啊，赐给我们忠诚的恩典。 Lord, give us the grace to be faithful.
基督永远不会抛弃他的新娘。 Christ will never abandon his bride.
我们不能抛弃我们的配偶。 We must not abandon our spouse.
这怎么可能？ How is it possible?
天主教婚姻进入离婚法庭的比例，与新教徒或异教徒的比例实际上是一样的。 that Catholic marriages, the percent that go into divorce court, is really the same amount as Protestants or Pagans.
这怎么可能？ How is it possible?
其次，我们必须通过守护我们的婚姻来拥抱忠诚，真正地彼此奉献。 Second, we must embrace fidelity by guarding our marriages, by truly Giving ourselves to each other.
我曾遇到一个女人，你知道，有时我觉得人们不需 要处理避孕问题，因为他们根本就没有在做爱。 I met a woman once who, you know, sometimes I think people don't have to deal with the issue of contraception because they're not making love anyway.
我评论说，在圣餐和婚姻行为之间有这么多美丽的相似之处，我在《成为天主教徒的理由》 一书中有整整一章讲这个，我很希望你能读一读。我说，你知道，我们被鼓励经常领圣体。 And I made the comment, in all these beautiful parallels between the act of communion and the act of marriage, and I have a whole chapter on it in Catholic for a Reason I would love to have you read, and I said, you know, we're encouraged for frequent communion.
我认为这也鼓励我们经常同床共枕，彼此以身体表达爱意。 I think there's an encouragement for frequently sharing our bed and expressing our love physically one to another.
这是一种彼此服侍的方式。 It is a way of ministering to each other.
这是一种彼此关心和满足对方需求的方式。 It's a way of caring for each other and meeting each other's needs.
之后有个女人来找我，她说：「我告诉我丈夫一个月一次，这样就够了。」 And one woman came up to me afterwards and she said, I told my husband once a month, and that better do it.
这是多么对抗性的关系啊。 What an antagonistic kind of relationship.
有个大学生告诉我，他参加婚礼时无意中听到有人说： 「嗯，他们现在结婚了，他们的性生活就完蛋了。」 I had one college kid Tell me that he went to a wedding and he overheard someone say, huh, now they're married, there goes their sex life.
我想说，我希望我能在屋顶上大声喊出来。 I want to say, I wish I could shout it from the rooftops.
我在电视上听到的许多受访者对性一无所知。 So many of the people I hear interviewed on TV have no clue what sex is about.
他们一点概念都没有。 They have no idea.
我父母结婚49年了，我父亲说每年都变得更好。 My parents have been married 49 years and my dad said it gets better every year.
每一年，因为他说，我更爱她了。 Every year, because he said, I love her more.
我更了解她了。 I know her better.
我在爱她。 I'm loving her.
我们的身体形状在变化。 Our bodies change shapes.
多么令人震惊。 What a shock.
为什么对女性最高的赞美是说她看起来好像从未生过孩子？ Why is the ultimate compliment that a woman looks like she never had a baby?
为什么当你看广告时，你会看到20多岁和30多 岁的女性试图让自己看起来像青春期前的少女？ Why is it that when you look at the ads, you look at women in their 20s and 30s trying to look like they're prepubescent teens?
我个人不认为男性会觉得那样有吸引力。 I don't personally think that men find that attractive.
我想，我不知道是谁在制作这些广告。 I think, I don't know who's running the ads.
身材丰满没有什么不对。 There's nothing wrong with being curvaceous.
拥有一个显示你生过孩子的身体没有什么不对。 There's nothing wrong with having a body that says that you bore a baby.
我告诉你，如果女性确信男性真的、真的、真的会一直在身边，这 是一种不可解除的纽带，你会看到更多的夫妇冒险生更多的孩子。 And I tell you, if women felt the conviction that men were really, really, really going to stay around, that this was an indissoluble bond, you would see more couples risking having more children.
一个女孩告诉我，她来上大学，根据她父亲的说法，她获得学位的原因是。 One girl told me she came to college and the reason why she was getting her degree according to her dad.
现在这是一个天主教父亲对他的天主教女儿说的。 Now this is a Catholic dad to a Catholic daughter.
「亲爱的，你去方济各大学接受教育，是因为当你 的丈夫离开你时，你必须能够养活你的孩子。」 Honey, you're going to Franciscan University to get an education because when your husband leaves you, you have to be able to support your children.
你能想象这就是他选择种在她心里的种子吗？ Can you imagine that was the seed he chose to plant in her heart?
第三，我们以慷慨的结果拥抱我们的配偶。 Third, we embrace our spouse in generous fruitfulness.
在慷慨的结果中，我们冒险说：「神啊，我要信靠你来供应这个家庭。」 In generous fruitfulness, we take the risk to say, God, I'm going to trust you to provide for this family.
我不是说你要关闭大脑不去思考，但我们的文化对待这个问题的方式，就 好像你必须在一张收支表上证明你如何能证明生另一个孩子是合理的。 I'm not saying you turn off your brains and you don't think, but the way our culture approaches it, it's like you have to prove on a credit-debit sheet of accounting how you can justify having another baby.
完全陌生的人会走到你面前说：「他们都是你的吗？」 Total strangers will come up to you and say, are they all yours?
「哦，天哪，有一个溜进来了，没注意到。」 Oh gee, one slipped in, didn't notice.
或者「你不知道该怎么办吗？」 Or don't you know what to do?
「当然知道，这就是为什么我们有六个。」 Absolutely, that's why we've got six.
我认为如果你有青少年，你能做的最好的事之一就是生个孩子。 I think one of the best things you can do if you have teenagers is have a baby.
我真的这么认为。 I really do.
我正在和一个正怀第九个孩子的女人交谈。 I was talking to a woman who was having her ninth baby.
她45岁了。她说：「你知道，我去堕胎诊所，试图帮助那些女性。」 She was 45. And she said, you know, I go to the abortion clinics and I try to help the women.
「我看到女性和她们的女儿进来，我告诉她们怀孕的消息。」 And I see women and their daughters come in and I give them the news that she's pregnant.
「我观察她们的反应，感觉有点奇怪。」 And I watch their reaction and it's kind of strange.
她说：「她们很沮丧，但又不是真的沮丧。」 She said, they're upset, but they're not really upset.
「我试图理解。」 I've tried to understand.
她说：「我认为那些母亲...对于当祖母，我真的很期待。」 She said, I think that the mothers For grandparenting, I'm really looking forward to that.
「我们还没到那个阶段。」 We're not quite there yet.
「女孩对此没问题，因为即使她在生孩子，她知 道家里有很多帮助，这更像是一个兄弟姐妹。」 The girl is okay with it because Even though she's having the baby, she knows there's a lot of help at home, and it's more like a sibling.
她说：「我认为青少年生孩子是因为他们的父母不愿意 。不仅仅是不生，而是不愿意。他们已经经历过了。」 She said, I think teens are having babies because their parents won't. Not just aren't, won't. Been there, done that.
「我已经不想再换尿布了。」 I'm over the diaper thing.
好的，我想告诉你，我并不是想要对任何家庭指手画脚，但我想告诉你，当你有大孩 子的时候再生一个婴儿，会有一些美好的祝福，这是你不亲身经历就无法知道的。 Okay, I want to tell you, and I'm not trying to dictate to any family, but I want to tell you there are sweet blessings to having a baby when you have older children that you can't know apart from having it.
当我生最后一个孩子时，我的大儿子16岁，他开车带孩子们去医院。 When I delivered our last, my oldest was 16, and he drove the kids to the hospital.
这是一种非常奇特的经历。 Very weird experience.
我的两个大孩子走进房间时都超过六英尺高，他们抱着这个小小的婴儿。 And my two oldest were over six feet tall when they walked in the room, and they held this little, tiny baby.
我的第二个孩子加百列走过来，温柔地握住我的手，他说：「妈妈，我怎么能找 到合适的话来表达...我不知道有谁在临终时会说，我希望我们少生一个。」 And Gabriel, who's my second, came over and tenderly took my hand, and he said, Mom, how will I ever find the words I don't know of a person who, when they were dying, said, I wish we'd had one less.
现在是时候让神在你的婚姻中真实反映基督与教会之间关系的时候了。 Now is the time to give God permission to make in your marriage a true reflection of the relationship between Christ and the church.
你能想象教会转向基督说：「我不再施洗了，我不再教导教理了，我不要再有更多了」吗？ Can you fathom the church turning to Christ and saying, I'm done baptizing, I'm done catechizing, I'm not having any more?
我们有丰富的神学真理要以最实际的方式生活出来，那就是在婚姻 的圣召中，拒绝我们文化对离婚的推崇，拒绝我们文化对通奸的痴 迷，并拥抱那些他们希望我们不要生或应该通过堕胎死去的孩子。 We have rich, rich theological truth to live in the most nitty-gritty way, and that's in this vocation of marriage, to reject our culture's promotion of divorce, to reject our culture's obsession with adultery, and to embrace the children they want us to either not have or should be dead through abortion.
最后，我们必须每天与孩子们一起祈祷，为神圣而 有价值的圣职、修道生活和神圣婚姻的圣召祈祷。 And finally, we've got to pray with our children every day for holy and worthy vocations to the priesthood, religious life, and holy matrimony.
这三者都要。 All three.
我们需要在他们心中种下这颗种子，无论神对他们 生命的呼召是什么，他都会赐给他们忠诚的恩典。 And we need to plant that seed in their heart that whatever God's call on their life, He will give them the grace for fidelity.
他会赐给他们忠实的恩典。 He will give them the grace for faithfulness.
我们需要一起祈祷，为这些圣召的增加祈祷。 We need to pray together For an increase in those vocations.
神想要使用我们。 And that God, He wants to use us.
他想要改变我们。 He wants to change us.
他想要使我们的婚姻成为美好的见证。 He wants to make our marriages a sweet testimony.
他真的想这样做，而且他有恩典来做到这一点。 He really does, and He has the grace to do it.
让我们以祷告结束。 Let's close in prayer.
奉圣父、圣子、圣灵的名。 In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
阿们。 Amen.
神啊，我们知道我们失败的方式。 Oh God, we know We know the ways that we fail.
我们一次又一次地去忏悔，重复同样的罪，有时甚至很难看到进步。 Where we go to confession again and again and repeat the same sins, it's so hard at times to even see the progress.
但你呼召我们进入这些婚姻。 But you have called us into these marriages.
你呼召我们进入你为我们设立的圣召，你不会呼召我们去做你拒绝给我们恩典去做的事。 You have called us to the vocation that you have set before us, and you will not call us to do something you refuse to give us the grace to do.
所以我们恳求你，请让我们向你所有的一切开放，向你为我们预备的一切开放。 And so we implore you, please open us up to everything you have for you, everything you have for us.
我靠着那加给我力量的基督，凡事都能做。 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
主啊，你坚固我们。 You strengthen us, Lord.
你来做这事。 You do it.
愿一切尊贵、荣耀和赞美都归于你。 And to you be all of the honor, glory and praise.
我们奉耶稣的名祷告。 In Jesus' name we pray.
阿们。 Amen.
愿神祝福你。 God bless you.