Transcript

Welcome back to Catechism.

Let's begin with a prayer.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.

Amen.

Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God.

Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

Come, O Holy Ghost, fill the hearts of Thy faithful and kindle in them the fire of Thy love.

Send forth Thy spirit and they shall be created, and Thou shall renew the face of the Earth.

Let us pray.

Oh, God, who did instruct the hearts of the faithful by the light of the Holy Ghost, grant that in the same Spirit we may be truly wise, and ever rejoice in His consolation, through the same Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Saint Thomas Aquinas, pray for us.

Saint Joan of Arc, pray for us.

And Saint Joseph, pray for us.

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

Amen.

Welcome back.

We are on our last class before a brief summer break, so we are not going to be live-streaming next week.

We'll, uh, send out some notification when we're gonna be, uh, live-streaming again.

So we are on the, uh, last of the seven Sacraments, unless they added one over the weekend.

But, uh, we are gonna cover the Sacrament of Matrimony tonight, okay?

So, let's go ahead and begin and talk about this great Sacrament.

This is an image of Saint Joseph and Our Lady at their espousals, when they got married.

There's the high priest blessing their marriage.

God joining them in marriage.

They had a real marriage, uh, even though they also remained in the, uh, state of virginity.

Um, they, they truly had a real marriage before Almighty God.

So we're gonna talk about what makes up a real marriage.

Uh, and we know that God sent them a very special child, one child, our Lord Jesus.

And, um, He sent them, He sent that child to, uh, the couple that was truly married.

So we're gonna look at that definition.

What is the definition of matrimony?

Do you know where the word comes from, first of all, before we get to the definition?

The word matrimony comes from a Latin word.

Uh, matris munere.

Matris munere, which is the duty of a mother, the duty of being a mother.

The office or responsibility of being a mother.

So, you can see from the word matrimony, it's not macaroni, it's matrimony.

When I was a kid I thought they were saying macaroni and I couldn't understand what was going on, but it's matrimony, the duty of a mother.

Matris munere.

So, it's the duty of being a mother, the duty of becoming a mother, so it's a responsibility this Sacrament brings with it, the responsibility of being a mother.

And that's what God does, is He sends children to those people who have received this Sacrament so that they can be moms and dads.

Okay?

That's what the Sacrament is all about.

Let's take a look at the definition, huh?

There's a good definition we're gonna look at.

This is the definition from the, uh, Catechism of the Council of Trent.

Matrimony is a Sacrament of the New Law in which the conjugal union of man and woman is contracted between two qualified persons which obliges them to live together throughout life.

Wow, lot of big words in there, but we'll explain what all that means, okay?

It's a Sacrament of the New Law.

So, the New Law is the law that our Lord Jesus came to establish, the New Testament, the New Covenant.

And this unites a man and a woman so that they can be husband and wife, so that they can become a mom and a dad.

And it's between two quali- Anyone else.

If they're married to someone else, they're not qualified to marry each other, if they're already married to someone else.

Okay?

And it obliges them to live together throughout life, so that's why moms and dads, they're, they're supposed to stay together, uh, throughout life so that they can, uh, have a good, stable home, so that kids can have, uh, a nice environment to grow up in.

Okay?

So that's the, that's the definition.

There's some famous, uh, marriages, famous marriages, uh, in the marriage of Saint Joseph and Our Lady.

And this is a little picture of, uh, from a stained glass window, of the marriage of Saint Joachim and Saint Anne.

If you can guess who Saint Joachim and Saint Anne are, maybe Mom or Dad can give you some kind of prize tonight.

Maybe a dessert tonight or something.

Okay.

Saint Joachim and Saint Anne, they were the parents of the most Blessed Virgin Mary.

Okay?

So, there she is, there's the Blessed Virgin Mary as a little girl.

And there's Saint Joachim, who, um, was taking care of the Blessed Mother, and taking care of Saint Anne.

So, uh, a lot of famous marriages and a lot of holy marriages.

Uh, it's a great Sacrament.

And so this Sacrament brings with it grace to live out the life of being a mom and dad, the duties of being a mom and dad.

Okay?

But, you know, even before that, the church wants us to put forward the importance of the religious life.

And so even in the, in teaching about the Sacrament of Matrimony, the Catechism of the Council of Trent tells us that we are supposed to explain the beauty of the state of virginity, the state of, uh, priests and religious.

So, I'll, I'll show you what I mean.

Okay.

So in the Catechism of the Council of Trent it says, Since it is the duty of the pastors to seek the holiness and perfection of the faithful, his earnest desires must be in agreement with those that are expressed by the apostle when he wrote to the Corinthians, ‘I would that all men were even of, as myself.' That is, that all should embrace the virtue of continence.

That means that they are living, uh- a state of, um, a state of virginity, state of celibacy.

And he said, No greater happiness can befall the faithful in this life than to have their souls distracted by no worldly cares.

The unruly desires of the flesh, tranquilize it is put at peace and restrained, that means held back, and the mind fixed on the practice of piety, and the contemplation of heavenly things.

So what that last part is saying, I'll explain it to you in easier words.

It's saying that the, the life of someone who lives like a priest, someone who lives in the state of religious, like a, a, uh, woman who goes to a convent to become a nun, they are there so that they can have their fleshly desires restrained and tranquilized, right?

Because you don't, uh, you're, you're, you're at peace.

You're not seeking after, uh, things that could be, you know, tempting.

You're taken out from the, from the world and through, from a lot of the, uh, the difficulties, uh, that come with, uh, with that state.

And it allows the mind to be fixed on piety.

That is the love of God, and the contemplation of heavenly things.

Saint Thomas Aquinas says that one of the effects of leading a celibate life is that, that's the life of a, of a priest or a nun, you know, where they, they don't get married and they stay, uh, pure and, uh, uh, holy.

They are allowed, they are enabled to meditate and contemplate on heavenly things.

And that's why Saint Paul even recommends that husbands and wives can agree for a time that they should, you know, not think about things of marriage for a time, you know, s- stay away from things of marriage for a time so that they can pray, obviously, they stay with their family, you know, but they pray for a time, right?

So that's, it's a means, uh, when one is kind of separated from those things that have to do with marriage.

It helps you contemplate, helps you think about heavenly things 'cause that's what we're all called to do.

So even in the midst of marriage, even in the midst of the duties of marriage, uh, we are all called to contemplate heavenly things.

And so Saint Paul even recommends that in 1st Corinthians 7 that even married couples should take some time where they are not thinking about the marriage things, but they are spending that time in some prayer.

Okay?

So what else does the Catechism of the Council of Trent say?

Let's take a look.

But according to the same apostle, everyone has his proper gift from God.

One after this manner and another after that, and as marriage is gifted with great and divine blessings, so much so as truly and properly hold a place among the other sacraments of the church.

What he's just saying there is that marriage is actually a sacrament.

And its celebration was honored by the presence of our Lord himself.

It's clear that this subject, matrimony, should be explained, okay?

Because it also brings with it, uh, many, uh, there's a state of dignity and there are duties of the married state.

And it is a, it is a state, it is a good state.

It is a, it is a holy state.

And so, uh, Saint Paul and the church, uh, want us to explain that also because it is a, uh, a beautiful and holy state.

Now, remember where I said that, uh, that marriage has been, uh, sanctified by the very presence of our Lord?

What am I talking about?

Do you remember that story of the wedding Feast of Cana?

This is a image of the wedding Feast at Cana.

So here you see in the background, there's the couple that just got married.

The guy and the girl in the background, they just got married, and they ran out of wine.

You remember the story?

Where our lady is standing right there, said, They have no wine.

And so she told our Lord Jesus this, her son, and so he said, What is that to me and to thee?

My hour is not yet come.

And so she said to the steward of the feast, Do whatever he tells you.

And then look what happened.

He tells the servant, Fill up the water basin.

Fill up the three I'm sorry, The six pots of water and pour it out.

And then what happened when he poured it out?

Well, as you can see, the water turned into wine.

So he poured out the water.

He f- he changed six large stone pots of water, changed them into wine to help celebrate their marriage and so that the couple, uh, had just gotten married up here, so that they wouldn't be embarrassed, um, by running out of wine at their own wedding.

So Jesus then blessed this state of matrimony.

Um, also showing that he is actually going to be a perfect bridegroom 'cause it's like Jesus marries the church.

Okay?

So that's what we're gonna see a little bit later of the, about the beauty of this great sacrament.

How it shows how, uh, Jesus, um, uh, is married to the church and that a good marriage between a mom and a dad, between a husband and a wife, a good marriage should show that beauty of Jesus' union with his church.

The church is like his bride, and Jesus is like the husband, okay?

In a marriage.

So every sacrament, um, has matter and form.

Do you remember that?

Every sacrament has matter and form.

That means every sacrament has something you start with and then something that makes this thing the sacrament that it is.Okay.

So what is the matter with marriage?

What's the thing that makes- the matter that makes it a marriage?

Okay.

So the matter- this one's a little hard to think about, but the matter of the Sacrament is the mutual giving of the rights of marriage.

That is, the mutual giving, that's- that means between the man and the woman, there's a mutual giving.

They give to each other the rights of marriage.

I give you the rights of being a wife.

I give you the rights of being a husband.

They give each other those rights of marriage.

That's the- the giving of them.

The form is that they mutually, they both accept the rights of marriage from the other.

Okay?

So when they say, Yes, I accept you as my wife.

You know, the man says, I accept you as my wife.

The woman says, I accept you as my husband.

Okay?

So it has to be a man and a woman.

Can't be anything else.

Only a man can marry a woman.

There's no such thing as a marriage with any other combination.

Okay?

Uh, so, uh, we- we, uh, uh, we know that.

Why do we know that?

We know that because our Lord, God, the Almighty who created us, made marriage.

And so we don't have a right to change that.

I can't change myself into an eagle.

I can't change myself into a dog, because God made me as a man.

So, we can't change marriage, 'cause God made marriage, and He made marriage to be between one man and one woman, and that's it.

Okay?

That's what forms a marriage.

Anything else is not a marriage.

It's some other thing that's trying to imitate marriage, but it's not marriage.

Okay?

So, it is the mutual giving of a qualified person.

Remember we w- in that definition we saw has to be a qualified person.

That means a man and then a woman.

They- the man gives the rights of marriage to the woman.

The woman accepts the rights of marriage, and she gives the rights of marriage to the man, and the man- and, uh, and- and she, uh, accepts the rights from the man.

So they mutually give and accept the rights, and that's the matter and the form of this Sacrament, okay?

So, hmm.

What are the qualities of marriage?

There are two qualities of marriage.

Two qualities of marriage.

Okay?

The two qualities of marriage are unity and indissolubility.

Unity, that means one wife.

You know?

A man only has one wife.

A woman only has one husband.

Okay?

Because our Lord said this in Mark 10:11-12.

Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another commits adultery against her.

And if the wife puts away her husband and be married to another, she commits adultery.

So, it's unity.

There's just, uh Y- y- you can't have any other combination.

You can't have many wives, or a woman can't have many husbands, right?

One man, one woman.

That's it.

So, unity.

Okay?

Unity.

You know.

The- the man, as it says, he leaves father and mother and cleaves to his wife, unites to his wife.

Right?

So he's with her, not with a bunch of other wives, or something like that.

Okay?

And then, the other quality of marriage is indissolubility.

Indissolubility.

That's a big word, but that just means that it can't be broken except by death.

Okay?

It can't be broken by any human power except by death.

Once a person dies then the terms of the marriage, the terms of the contract, the agreement are done because they- they give each other marriage, but as they are in- human beings, yes, human beings, body and soul, once their bodies died, once the person has died, well, then the marriage ends at that point.

Okay?

And that's the indissolubility.

There's a verse that relates to that, the indissolubility of marriage, in Romans 7:2.

It says, For the woman that hath a husband, while her husband lives, is bound to the law.

But if her husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.

Okay?

And it goes both ways.

So, um, as long as the woman lives, the man is bound by the law.

And- but if once she dies, then he's not bound by that law of marriage.

He can be free to marry someone else if she- if the first wife has died.

Right?

Okay?

So, um, so that's what's going on there.

The qualities of marriage.

Unity, one man, one woman.

Indissolubility, it's not broken by anything except for death.

That's the only thing that breaks marriage, that ends a marriage.

Death.

Death.

Okay?

Um, there are other circumstances where a marriage didn't even really form, that's a different thing.

You know, there's something blocking that union from forming, but that's a different story.

Okay?

Now, there are three blessings of marriage.

Okay?

The church gives us three blessings of marriage that we know from the Catechism of the Council of Trent, and these are, uh, the offspring.

Okay?

That means children.

That's a blessing of marriage.

Uh, the second blessing of marriage is fidelity.

Okay?

Fidelity.

You know, showing that faithfulness to each other.

It's a blessing of marriage 'cause it teaches a holy and pure love.

It teaches people how to love and be f- be good.

That's what the fidelity part of it is.

That's a blessing of marriage.

It teaches them to love each other and to be faithful to each other.

That develops virtue in them.

Okay?

And then, finally, there is the Sacrament.

That's another blessing of marriage.

It's the Sacrament, that is, the indissoluble bond of marriage.

Okay?

So, uh Children, the fact that children are a blessing of marriage, we know from 1 Timothy, uh, 2:14, uh, because there, uh, Saint Paul goes so far as to even say that a woman is saved by child-bearing.

Now, he doesn't just mean that she's saved simply because God sent her a baby.

She's saved by raising up that baby, okay?

That's a blessing of marriage, that she has someone that she can teach the faith to and raise up, and, you know, teach, you know, from being a child to grow up to being a, a grown-up.

And so, that's a blessing of marriage, you know, that she is given the responsibility, and he is given, the husband is also given the responsibility of raising up the child so that that child grows up to become a grown-up, become a man or a woman.

That's a blessing of marriage, okay?

So then there is that fidelity.

That's another blessing of marriage, right?

So they have to love each other with a special, a holy love, a pure love.

That's a blessing to have someone that you can love with a special love, a pure love.

Your focus can be on that person.

What it's doing is it's teaching a person to love someone as Christ loves the Church.

And it's teaching, so it's teaching a man, the, the husband, to love his wife as Christ loves the Church.

Marriage also teaches a woman to love her husband as the Church loves Christ.

That's what is going on in marriage.

God has given different jobs, right?

There's the job of the man, the job of the woman, the job of a husband, the job of a wife.

And by living out those jobs, by living out those responsibilities, they help grow in virtue.

That means the man becomes a good man, an even better man.

The woman becomes a good woman, or an even better woman, by living out that role, that job of being, uh, uh, a wife for the woman, and a husband, for being a man.

That's why you do- it takes a man and a woman and that's it, because the husband is supposed to practice the love of Christ towards the Church, and the Church is a bride, it's a woman th- spiritually.

And the Church, then, which is like a woman spiritually, it's a bride, it loves Christ like one should lo- like a wife should love her husband.

And so that's why you need, you need, uh, a woman and you need a man, and that's, that's all that can make up, uh, a marriage, okay?

So that fidelity, that faithful love is one of the great, great blessings of marriage, okay?

And then the third great blessing of marriage is what we call the Sacrament, okay?

So there is the offspring, the fidelity, and the Sacrament.

Those are the three great blessings of marriage.

And so this blessing of a Sacrament is the indissoluble bond.

Indissoluble is just a big word that means It's a bond that can't be broken.

It's a connection that can't be torn, it can't be torn apart.

It's indissoluble.

That bond stays.

They're husband and wife.

Even if he's across the world somewhere else on a ship somewhere, he's still married to his wife.

And, you know, this Sacrament really represents Christ's union with the Church.

And so it follows then that Jesus doesn't separate Himself from the Church.

Even if the Church is here on Earth, He's in Heaven.

Just because there's that separation, they're still united, okay?

We are still united to Christ.

The Church is still united to Christ, just as a husband is still united to his wife.

Even if he's on a trip overseas somewhere, well, he's still united to his wife, okay?

They're still bound to each other.

There's still a bond there.

And so also, there's a bond between Christ and his Church.

And he loves his Church with a special love.

Just like a husband should love his wife with a special love, so God loves the Church with a special love.

So God has given us this Sacrament to show us how He loves the Church, and to teach a husband how to love his wife, and to teach a wife how to love, uh, her husband, okay?

So, um, well, what makes the marriage?

What actually makes the bond, okay?

So, um, let's take a look again at another little picture here.

This is the, uh, this is, again, this is the wedding feast at Cana.

So when they form this marriage, when they agree to have this marriage, you see the husband and the wife in the background.

Well, they agreed.

They agreed to be husband and wife, okay?

So that's what formed the bond is that they agreed to it.

The husband has to agree.

The wife has to agree.

It's what we call consent.

They agree to be husband and wife.

So that is what causes the marriage.

That wh- that's what forms the marriage.

But you also need a couple of things.

Not only do you need a man and woman to agree to be husband and wife, but you also need a priest present, and you need two witnesses.

Now, that's ever since the Council of Trent.

Uh, the Council of Trent, uh, changed it.

There's a document called Tametsi i- in Latin, and that was the document that changed the rule, 'cause before that, you didn't need a priest with faculties to witness marriages.

But after that, at the Cou- starting at the Council of Trent with the document Tametsi, you do need a priest with faculties.

That means he's delegated by the bishop to witness a marriage.

And so that's how a marriage is formed.

It has to be in front of a bishop with, or in front of a priest who's been delegated by the bishop, um, to, uh, witness a marriage.

Do you know how strict this r- this was in tradition?

It's actually gotten more, more, uh, um, uh- in some ways it's gotten easier.

However, uh, this is a law that actually stayed the same between the old Code of Canon Law and the new Code of Canon Law.

Okay, so these are Canon law is, uh, it's not a, a law about canons, it's a law of the church.

And so, in the old list of laws, and, uh, this was the old Code of Canon Law, uh, i- it says that, uh, if I were to say, uh parish or something and I go into a neighboring diocese, so say I leave Idaho and go across into Spokane and, um, two people were to come up to me and want to be married and I say, Sure, I'll do it, and I don't have delegation from that bishop in Spokane, that would be an invalid marriage.

That's how strict it was, and that's how strict it is still.

So

And so, we're gonna talk today about why priests stay unmarried.

Um, you know, there's a lot of misconceptions out there, and, uh, one misconception is that priests just don't care about marriage anymore.

Um, they don't want kids, they don't want to get married.

Um, and I think that's kind of a misconception as well.

Um, I mean, I'm married.

I have three children.

I have a wife whom I love dearly.

Um, and I have four grandchildren now who I love dearly as well.

But I also have other relatives who are married with children as well, and I have many friends who are married with children as well.

And I think what we see in the news a lot is just the headlines, right?

Uh, and so we see things like, Marriage rates for young adults are at all-time lows.

Right?

Um, and then we see stories about single parents raising their children or single parents who are trying to raise their children.

And so, when we see those headlines and we hear those stories, it's easy to think that maybe that's the way it's going to be for everybody else, but it isn't.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to understand is that while marriage rates have gone down, the number of unmarried people has actually gone up over the last 30 years or so.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is to really look at the root causes of why that is.

And, uh, one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

So I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

Um, and so I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to really look at the fact that society has changed.

If you ever have questions on priesthood, 1 Corinthians 7, uh-huh.

I'll tell you a story of one time.

I was at a place where there was, um, a- a lot of Protestants there, and they were, um, they were asking, um, You know, uh, why is it, uh, that you Catholics don't get married, huh?

Why is it that you Catholic priests don't get married?

Now, does- doesn't that seem against the Bible?

Right?

Doesn't God want marriage.

He wants people to get married.

Well, um, I asked him, I said, Well, let me ask you a question.

Why doesn't your minister, your Protestant minister, why doesn't he stay single?

Why doesn't he stay celibate?

Because according to the Bible, the one who is married is divided and the one who is single, the one who is celibate, is concerned for the things of the Lord.

Okay?

So you'll find that in 1 Corinthians, uh, 7, all right?

So that's, uh, that's an important, uh, verse, important chapter to, to look at.

Uh, 1 Corinthians 7:32.

You can look there.

Oh, I should have put on my apologetics hat.

Again, this is, uh I hope my parishioners got this for me, uh, to, uh whenever I put on a, whenever I have an apologetics point to make, I put on my apologetics hat.

So 1 Corinthians 7:32 and following is a key verse for understanding why priests are celibate.

Okay?

All right, so, um, so remember then, uh, marriage is, uh, is also a sacrament, okay?

So marriage is a sacrament.

And what exactly does that mean?

What does, what does it mean when we say marriage is, um, is a sacrament?

Um, well, what is it a sign of?

Okay, a sacrament, remember, is an outward sign.

instituted by Christ to give grace.

So what is it a sign of?

All right, so the sign in marriage, the sign with the, the, the symbolism there in marriage is that you are a symbol, a sign of Christ's union with the Church.

That's the sacrament part of it.

Now, in order for it to be a sacrament there has to be a baptized man and, and a baptized woman.

Okay?

That's the only way we have a sacramental marriage.

You might have what we call a natural marriage, okay, so a man and a woman, maybe they're not even believers- Mm.

can they get married.

They do, but it's a natural marriage and it's not a sacrament.

It doesn't produce grace.

Remember, grace always accompanies the sacrament.

When they will receive, grace accompanies the sacrament.

Okay?

So if they both are baptized, okay, if the man is baptized and the woman is baptized then grace is produced and it is a, uh, sacrament.

Okay?

So, um, that means it, it Uh, remember what a sacrament is?

If you can guess the definition of a sacrament, the first one that gets it maybe can get some kind of prize from mom and dad.

Okay.

Remember what a sacrament is?

Can you define a sacrament at home?

A sacrament is an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace.

Okay?

Maybe I gave it away too soon.

But anyway, that's the answer.

So, uh, a sacrament is an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace.

Okay.

So this is an outward sign, so it's a symbol, a sign of something, and so marriage is a sign and it's a sign of how Christ loves the Church.

And it's a sign of how the Church loves Christ.

So that Christ is there for the Church and the Church should be there for Christ.

And so when a man and a woman marry and they're baptized, that mark on their soul Do you remember the mark on their soul?

Do you remember what they call that mark?

It starts with an I. It's an in- indelible mark.

The indelible mark that's on your soul when you're baptized.

That enables you, that when you get married, it enables it for your marriage, if you marry someone else who is baptized, to become a sacrament, a sign of Christ's union with the Church, just because you've got that mark of baptism on your soul.

Okay?

So, uh, those are some basics with regard to marriage.

Let's look at a couple places where we see the sacrament of matrimony in the Bible.

Okay?

Let's, let's take a look at that.

Cou- There's a couple places where we see this sacrament in the Bible.

One of 'em is Mark 10:7-9, where our Lord says, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife.

That means he's united to his wife.

What therefore God has joined us together, let not man put asunder.

That means let not man break apart.

What God has joined, let not man break apart.

So can you see how that's showing that in fact marriage is indeed uni- uh, formed by God?

It's a sacrament.

God is doing the forming, because it says in Mark chapter 10, What God has joined, let not man break apart.

So Mark 10:9.

That might be a verse to put away in your little toolbox there to show that marriage is indeed a sacrament, 'cause God does the joining.

It's not a man and a woman who's doing the joining, God is doing the joining, and so let not man break asunder because it is a sacrament.

Okay?

Where else is it in the Bible?

Let's take a look at another verse, uh, in the Bible that shows that marriage is indeed a sacrament.

Okay?

Let's take a look.

Here is another verse.

This is 1 Corinthians 7:8-11.

Remember how I said 1 Corinthians 7 is an important chapter?

Here's one of the verses that show why.

And it's an important chapter regarding marriage, matrimony.

Here Saint Paul says this, I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them if they so continue unmarried, even as I. Because Saint Paul was unmarried, you see?

And then he says, But if they do not contain themselves, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to be burnt.

So you see in that verse how he is saying, that first part of the verse there, he's saying to the unmarried and to the widows, the ones who don't have a husband because their husband died, It is good for them to continue unmarried even as I am unmarried.

Saint Paul was unmarried.

He was not married.

And he says, But if they do not contain themselves, then let 'em, let them marry, right?

It's better to marry than to fall into sin.

But then he goes on.

Let's take a look at what else he says in the rest of the verse.

But to them that are married, not I but the Lord commands that the wife depart not from her husband.

And if she depart from her husband, that she remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husban- her, her husband, and let not the husband put away his wife.

Okay?

So for those that are married, God commands that they remain together, and if for some reason they separate, they have to remain unmarried.

Okay?

Uh, that's an important command from Almighty God.

Notice he says, Not I command this, but the Lord does.

Okay?

This is from 1 Corinthians 7:11.

Okay.

So where else, where else do we see matrimony in the Bible?There's another verse I wanna show you, and this is from the letter of Saint Paul to the Ephesians.

Let's take a look at that one.

In this verse, Saint Paul says, For this cause, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife.

Do you remember what verse he's quoting there?

That's Mark Chapter 10 Verse Eight.

Okay?

But notice what Saint Paul adds right here in Ephesians 5:32.

This is a great Sacrament when I speak in Christ and in the Church.

Wow.

Look at that, huh?

This shows that marriage is a Sacrament.

This is a Great Sacrament, but I speak in, about Christ and the Church.

Okay.

That's what he's talking about.

It's a Sacrament.

So, the reason marriage is a Sacrament is because it's a reflection of Christ's union with the Church, of how Christ loves the Church, how Christ, um, is united to the Church, and how the Church is available to Christ, and how, uh, um, the Church sacrifices of itself for Christ.

Okay?

So, marriage is a sign, and it's an important sign.

It's a sign of Christ's union with the Church.

So we really have to consider that.

We really have to look at that.

Okay?

So, what about the duties?

What are some of the duties and responsibilities?

So the duties and responsibilities of a husband and a wife, these are important.

A duty of a husband is to provide for his wife.

So first, before God sends any children, he's supposed to provide for his wife.

So therefore, he should, um, he should have a job.

Okay?

He should have a good job that he can put a roof over the head of his wife.

Uh, so, uh, any young ladies out there, uh, if he doesn't have a job, you shouldn't be thinking about marrying that guy.

Okay?

He needs to show he's a man.

He needs to show he's got responsibility, that he's got a job, okay?

Um, and so, if the person is not in a position to get married, that is if he doesn't have a job or he's not old enough Remember, marriage is about qualified persons.

Gotta be old enough, and you're qualified if you have the responsibility enough to provide for your family.

Okay?

So if a person doesn't have a job, can't get a job, you know, he's not old enough, uh, can't hold down a job, whatever it is, he's not ready to get married.

Okay?

He's not ready to provide for you, young ladies.

Okay?

So, um, I know we're talking to some kids here, too, so, you know, but anyway, can you see how bad it would be, then, to put yourself in some danger of temptation when you're not even in a position to get married?

Right?

That's, that's, uh, tempting God to put yourself in the position of, uh, dating when he, he, the guy's not even in a position to get married.

Right?

So that, 'cause he has to be a provider.

That's an important responsibility.

Let him prove he's a man.

Let him show that he's got the responsibility to provide for a family first.

Also, you wanna see, does this guy have self-control?

Does this guy have self-control?

'Cause you want to h- you want him to be sacrificing of himself so that he can provide for you and your children, ladies.

That's what you wanna see.

Does this guy have self-control?

If he doesn't have control, if he's trying to tempt me or something like if the wo- you know, say he's trying to tempt the woman in some way, that's not showing self-control.

That's not a good sign.

Okay?

He's gotta demonstrate, he's gotta show self-control.

He's gotta show that he loves you more than himself.

Okay?

So those are some things that he's supposed to do.

He's supposed to sacrifice for himself.

Remember how Christ loved the Church?

This isn't my own invention.

This is what B- the Bible says.

Right?

Uh, Ephesians 5:22 says this.

Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for it.

So that's what the husband is supposed to do.

Give himself up for his wife, for his children.

So, if you're, when you're f- as you get to the age when you start thinking about marriage, you wanna see, is this guy giving himself up?

Is he sacrificing of himself for me?

Right?

Not, you know, looking for his own joy off of me or something like that, you know?

So, no, he's, he should be sacrificing of himself for the, for the wife.

Right?

Uh, so also, uh, you wanna see, is he a man of virtue?

Right?

Because children will imitate their dads.

Did you know, in 1995, the Swiss did a study on the religious practice of children, and the future religious practice of the children?

And, invariably, it was like 50 times more that if the father goes to church when the children are grown up, then they will go to church, and it almost didn't matter what the mother was doing.

Primarily, they will follow Dad.

That's what the study showed.

It was an independent study that the Swiss did, uh, on this, on the future religious practices of, uh, children.

They really do follow Dad.

So, that's another question to ask ladies.

You can ask, Is he a religious man?

Okay?

Or, does he think that religion is for old women and ladies or children?

If he thinks that religion is for old women, ladies, and children, then he's not got a good head on his shoulders.

There's something wrong with his thinking if he thinks that religion is just for women, children, and old ladies.

He's not a good man if that's the case.

So he's gotta really change how he thinks.

Okay?

So, 'cause y- you, he's gotta be a religious man.

In the sacred Scriptures, it was always the case that the-The, the men were the leaders, spiritual leaders of their family.

They were the ones that led people in prayer.

They were the ones that made sure their family was being taught the faith, okay?

It's very important that the man do the leadership role that he's supposed to of leading the family to God, okay?

Um, I would challenge anyone to say that Saint Joseph was not a real man's man and he was the spiritual leader of the family, right?

Uh, so we wanna, we wanna see those properties.

You wanna look for those properties.

What about the woman?

What are some of the properties that the man should look for in a woman?

Uh, is she gonna be an image of the church?

Is she gonna be like the church is towards Christ, right?

Is she gonna be virtuous?

She's gonna spend a lot of ch- a lot of time with those children.

Is she more concerned about making those children virtuous or is she more concerned about making those children like her?

I want the kids to like me.

Should be more concerned about making those children virtuous, making those children good.

Sometimes the thing that is pleasing to someone is the opposite of what's actually good for that person, right?

There are many times where children are asking for things from their parents that are just pleasing to them, they're pleasing to the kids, but it's not necessarily good for them.

So you wanna look at that because the, often the case it's gonna be the, the wife's gonna spend a lot of time with the children, the husband's at work, whatnot, and so you wanna see, how are those children gonna be formed in those really critical young years, right, when the children, uh, have to be with mom, they're looking for mom, the children clinging to mom more sometimes in th- in those early years.

So, you know, how is she gonna be forming them, right?

Is she virtuous?

Is she instilling virtue?

Or because see, sometimes the, the tendency f- is that women want to make sure they got a good husband, and so they often say, Is, is he gonna provide s- safety and security for me so that I can provide a good nest in the house, as it were.

You know, a good, a good home environment.

But in doing so, they start to think how, how, Is he providing for me?

But sometimes if it gets too much, it can be more about me, me, me, right?

And so the husband wants to see, is she sacrificing of herself?

It's not just the man that has to sacrifice of himself.

Is she willing to sacrifice of herself for the sake of her children, for the sake of the good of the children, right?

Um, so you wanna look at those things, you know?

Uh, Saint Thomas More actually gave some good advice.

This is coming from a saint, okay?

So if you have any problems with it, you can take it up with Saint Thomas More, okay?

Um, he was a saint.

Um, he had, uh, children who were Catholics and he had difficult situations with some of those children, but he said, um, You wanna look at the mother of the girl you're considering marrying.

Look at the mother of the woman you're considering marrying.

He says, Chances are that's what she's gonna be like.

Okay?

So he says, Good counsel is look at the mother of the woman that you're thinking about marrying, and that's really what she's gonna be like.

Now, when she's um, uh, take our, uh, questions.

So let's, uh, let's take a look, uh, at the, uh, at any, uh, questions we have, okay?

So, uh, s- on Facebook we, uh, can take questions and I'm gonna see if any have, uh, come in.

All right.

Okay.

Okay.

So one question was, Why are two witnesses needed?

Okay.

Why are two witnesses needed?

Good question.

Okay, so this came about because of a problem that was what they called, um, clandestine marriages.

Clandestine marriages are secret marriages where what would happen is they would, like an elopement, they go off and, by themselves or something and find someone and they get married.

But what would happen, or the problem that was happening was, uh, they were, there would be people, like for example, a woman would say, He married me and now he won't fulfill his duties.

And the guy says, I didn't do it.

They said, Well, were there any witnesses?

No.

And so the church said, All right, we need witnesses for these things, okay?

Uh, so it's just a law of the church, out of prudence, to make sure that others know about it.

And it's also to prevent things like, you know, I can't believe that priest married these people.

Didn't everyone know, didn't he know that, you know, he was forcing this woman into it, or something like that.

Or, Didn't he know that, you know, this person's reputation So if the priest, you know, he's, he's, he gets witnesses so the witnesses could say, I can attest.

I'm standing up for or I'm backing this person, um, supporting this person in the, uh, the marriage, right?

So and also if he doesn't know, this is, I, we didn't quite cover this, but, uh, if he doesn't know the person, like say he didn't grow up with them, he doesn't know their, their background, uh, he doesn't know if they've been married previously, he has to get statements, sworn statements from people who do know them that attest, Yes, I know they are free to marry.

Okay.

So it's, it's kind of an extension of the idea of a witness, okay, that he has to get this test- um, testimony of freedom or, um, uh, statement of freedom that is, that is done.

They call it an affidavit.

It's a sworn oath saying, Yes, we know this person is free to marry and there's no problems.So, um, okay.

So two witnesses, uh, to make sure that everything's good with these two getting married, okay?

Uh, another question that came in.

Uh, Is there a recommended age gap between an- a man and a woman for marriage?

That's a really good question.

So, in general, men mature a little bit more slowly than women.

They're just a little bit more mature when you- when it comes down to it.

Um, so it can be helpful if the man is a little bit older, okay, than- than the woman.

That way, they're gonna be about matched up, okay?

So, I don't know what it is.

Guys just tend to do that, they mature a little slowly.

Maybe it's physiological, th- you know, I'm not sure.

Maybe doctors could weigh in on if there's any physiological reason, any physical reason why, uh, that's the case.

But, uh, in general, uh, that's kind of what happens.

May- maybe it's the case that men are just a little more afraid of commitment, so they gotta look- be a little more mature and a little more years under their belt in- before they realize, You know what?

I better settle down and get married here.

Um, but it's, uh, it is better that he be older, couple of years, few years.

You know, a couple of years is- is fine.

A few years, there's no- I mean, again, there's no law.

The Church has you just have to be old enough.

Um, but, uh, but, you know, even in Canon law, it's very interesting.

In Canon law, um, the- the- the age at which a woman can contract a marriage is two years younger than which, uh, the man, if I'm not mistaken.

And this might have been in the old code.

I, uh, I can't recall if that got changed in the new, but Um, so, anyway, uh, so, uh, the Church recognizes that.

And so, uh, if there is too big of a gap, there can be a problem where the- the child, you know, the Not the child, but the- the younger person is looking a little more to the older as like a child-parent relationship.

You know, they're- these are- whether it's the man or the woman who's old- too much older, they can be looking as well, this is- they're really not looking for a husband.

They're looking for a dad, you know?

Or he's not looking for a wife, but he's looking for a mom.

And that's not right either, really, because then you're looking at a different role.

So, if there's too big of an age gap, you're gonna have too many differences.

Um, you know, you just have more in common with people who are fairly close to your age.

So, when there's too big of a gap, it's just gonna cause some problems, so it's not recommend- you know, so anyway, um, uh, you just, uh, you know, I want to set a hard rule, but, um, y- you know, you get, uh And the- and the older you get, the older you get, the- the- the gap can be a little bigger, the older both people are, right?

Um, because just that- like I'm saying, that maturity.

You wanna about e- you want even maturity, so, uh, you don't wanna be unevenly yoked, as it were, okay?

So, I don't want to recommend an age gap, but usually, you know, couple, three, four, five years older maybe would be about, uh, a standard gap.

So, okay.

All right, so let's see.

Here is a question.

Good question.

I'm glad this question was asked, this next one here.

If two baptized people get married civilly, would it still be able to produce graces?

No, it does not, even if they do it innocently.

Uh, I'll tell you a story.

This is a true story.

I won't tell you where it happened or who it's with.

It was not here.

Um, but there was a man and a woman who understood that you're supposed to get married- a Catholic has to get married in the Catholic Church, okay?

And they understood that, but they didn't quite fully know what that meant, as you'll see in a moment.

So, what they did is they said, Okay, well, wouldn't it be nice if we got married in a nice, quiet setting, invite a bunch of people?

Let's just go into a Catholic Church, into a beautiful Catholic Church, and exchange our vows with no one present, no priest present, no witnesses.

I think you can see the problem here.

They were both baptized and they got a civil marriage license, just like you're describing in the question, and they had a couple kids, you know?

They thought they were married in the Church, because they knew you're supposed to get married in the Church, but they got married in the Church building, not with any priest present.

And so, then they're having marriage problems, so they came to a priest to help them with their marriage problems.

And the priest started explaining some things, and when he realized, he said, Wow, they should have known that.

That was a pretty basic thing.

And so, he asked them, Who did your marriage preparation?

And they said, Oh, we didn't get any marriage preparation.

And he said, Well, were you married in the Church?

Oh, yeah, we were married in the Catholic Church.

So, the priest was very confused at this point and he asked them to explain how they got married.

And they explained that they got married in a Church building, but that's not what makes the marriage.

They needed a priest with faculties present and two witnesses, 'cause they had just- they were two baptized people, they got married civilly, but they didn't have those witnesses, the priest witness and- with the faculties and the witnesses, uh, lay witnesses to witness the marriage.

So, the priest said, Okay, we're gonna fix this.

We're gonna get two witnesses.

The priest had faculties, he married them, and the man who contracted this marriage was the one who told me this story.

He said, Father, after that, our marriage problems were gone.

In other words, they didn't have grace before that.

So, it's kind of a long story just to show you how, uh, two baptized people, if they get married civilly, it doesn't- it's not sacramental.

It needs to be done according to the rite of Holy Mother Church, so before a priest with faculties and the two witnesses.

Otherwise, the marriage ac- more- marriage bond doesn't actually form, because remember, what God has joined, let not man put asunder.

But if God didn't have a chance to join it because it wasn't done before a priest- Or a deacon, a deacon can be of the faculties also.

Uh, a deacon can actually marry if he has faculties to do so, okay?So, uh, good question.

Uh, next question might have to be our last one.

We might have a couple more minutes.

But, um, Why are outdoor masses allowed, but nor out- no outdoor weddings?

Good question.

This is because people dissociate marriage from the religious aspect very easily.

It's very easy for people to dissociate, disconnect marriage from the religious responsibilities that are there, the religious duties that parents owe their children.

They need to form their kids in their faith.

They need to teach the catechism to them, and people are often not aware of that.

So the church, in order to maintain the sacredness of the marriage Because if you swear an oath to God, even if your spouse is tur- turns out to be kind of a-

Indecent.

not-so-decent person or something, if you've sworn that oath to God, you've got a strong motivation to keep that marriage.

And people are often made aware of that through the fact that it was solemnized, that marriage was solemnized, in the church before the Blessed Sacrament, God as a witness, the priest only representing, the priest representing God.

Uh, you know, um, and so that's why the church does so, does th- has this law where we don't have outdoor weddings.

We have weddings that are done in the church, because people quickly lose the sacred character and the sacred responsibility to be husband and wife.

And when it's taken outside the church, people quickly lose the sense of that, and it becomes about, Well, isn't this romantic between the man and the woman?

It's sacred between the man and the woman.

It's not just a romantic setting.

That's not gonna show them that it's a sacred thing.

But the church setting shows that this whole thing is very sacred, and it is a very important responsibility.

Okay.

Um, so Uh, so in order f- so the q- another question came in, uh, uh, So is there grace if one isn't baptized, even though the person's working on it at the time the marriage was blessed?

Uh, there's not grace produced until both are baptized.

Okay.

So both have to be baptized.

There was actually a case that went before, um, the Vatican from Montana, from the Diocese of Helena, and it was the case that actually settled this issue.

Is it a sacramental marriage if one person is baptized and the other isn't?

So this case went all the way up, you might say, to the Supreme Court, uh, the Roman Rota of the Vatican.

It was a case in, I think, the early 1900s, uh, in, from Montana, neighboring Montana.

And, uh, it went all the way up to the Vatican, and that was the case that settled the issue that said, no, that was not a sacramental marriage, even though one was baptized and the other was not.

So there's not grace produced.

Uh, there has to be both.

So that's the key thing.

That's why it's important to marry, marry a baptized person, marry Catholic.

You wanna have that in common.

That's important, right?

Because if your religion is not in common, you're gonna have to find something else that's in common.

But that religion is so important.

Okay?

It's so, so important, because your primary responsibility in getting married, remember, it's about children.

That's the primary end, is the children.

That's the primary end of marriage.

The secondary end is the mutual support and comfort of the spouses.

But the primary end, uh, is the children.

And so if the primary end, by being the children, is to get those children to heaven, 'cause that should be our primary end, not to get them good jobs, it's to get them to heaven.

If the primary end is not gonna be shared by both, because the means God has given for us to get to heaven is through the Sacraments through the church, if that's not shared by both, you are already up this, fighting an uphill battle, swimming against the stream.

It's going to be hard.

So, uh, you know, you wanna, uh, seek out someone who is baptized, who's gonna be a good example to the person, and is this person the best person to give my children, future children, the best shot at getting to heaven?

That should be the question you ask when you're courting, when you're considering marriage, Is this person the best person I can find that'll give my children the best shot at getting to heaven?

That's what we'll be judged on, and that's why it's important to be careful, uh, who we start to, uh, get involved with, who we start to court, because then emotions arise, and then it's hard to break those emotional attachments, even though this may not be the best person who will give your children the best shot at getting to heaven.

So you gotta be very careful, very selective about that.

There's much more we can say, but this was just an overview on matrimony.

So again, we will not have catechism next week.

We will, uh, be taking a break for at least the month of July.

And, uh, so we'll, uh, stand by for an announcement when we will restart that.

Uh, but we will have our Bible study, uh, this coming Wednesday.

So in two days, we will have our Bible study.

You can come to that on the Book of the Apocalypse.

Some exciting stuff we're gonna cover on Wednesday, uh, so please come back for that.

Okay?

Let's finish with a prayer, and I'll give you a blessing.

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.

Amen.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.

Amen.

Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us.

Saint Joseph, pray for us.

I'll give you a blessing.

The first thing that I have to say is, the most important part of the story is that I have to say something about what happened and how it was done.

The first thing that I have to say is that it was a very difficult time for me as a child.

It was very difficult time for me because my parents were not there with me.

They did not know what happened to me.

And so they did not know anything about what had happened to them.

So when you are talking about your childhood, you're talking about an experience that's been happening over and over again.

You can't just talk about one particular event or incident.

But if you do this, then you will be able to get a better understanding of what happened to you and how it's been happening over and over again.

And so I think that is the most important part of this story.

The second thing that I have to say is that I think that it's important to talk about what happened.

And I think that the most important part of this story is that you have to be able to say something about what has been happening over and over again, because if we don't do so then there will always be a lot of confusion in our lives.

So when you're talking about your childhood, you are not just saying things that happen to you but also saying how they've affected you.

If you're saying things that happen to you but also saying how they've affected you, then you'll get a better understanding of what happens to you.