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Christianity. It's the world's largest religion, it's almost 2,000 years old, and it's very diverse.

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Sometimes it looks like this, and sometimes it looks like this. How did this happen?

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So right after Jesus ascended into heaven, he left the 12 apostles in charge until he comes back.

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When's he gonna come back? Well, he said it wasn't for them to know, but still,

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everyone thought Jesus was about to come back. So at Pentecost, the 12 apostles all receive

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the Holy Spirit, who empowers them to preach the gospel in many different languages.

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So they're living together as one big happy family and preaching to the people,

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and their numbers begin to increase dramatically. They're worshiping in the temple,

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and the Jewish leaders of the temple don't really like these new followers of Jesus.

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So they begin to persecute them, and they even kill some of them, starting with Steve.

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One of the people who persecutes the Christians is Saul of Tarsus. He's all like,

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Christianity is cringe, change my mind. He changed his mind. And his name. And now it's

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his job to preach Christianity everywhere, not just to the Jews. He goes to a bunch of cities

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and begins preaching to the Gentiles, which are people who are not Jewish people. Which raises

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the question, is Christianity Jewish? Yes, said Peter. No, said Paul. Who's right? Paul is right.

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You don't need to become Jewish to become Christian. Cool. Now we've got Christianity

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all figured out. And just in time, because everyone still thinks Jesus is about to come back.

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Man, I'm so glad we have all these apostles who can teach us. Oh wait, no, they're dying out.

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Quick, preserve their teachings. So people begin preserving their teachings and writings,

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and compiling them into what would eventually become the New Testament. And it's good that

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we have the New Testament, because in the second century, a bunch of weird heretics

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and schismatic groups begin to pop up. You've got the Gnostics who hate the world, the Marcionites

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who hate most of the Bible, the Montanists who get a bit too crazy sometimes, and the Docetists

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who think Jesus was too cool to be human. And the apostolic fathers, like these guys, the successors

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of the apostles, are able to use the New Testament as a shield against these heresies. It's kind of

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hard to officially deal with these heretics, because remember, Christianity is still illegal.

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Unless you live in Armenia. But in Rome, it's illegal. But it's hard to keep it illegal because

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people keep converting. Don't worry, the emperor will solve this. Oh wait, no, he just converted as

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well. Now he wants everyone to be Christian, so he gathers all the Christian leaders at Nicaea to

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clarify what Christianity is. Well, we worship Jesus because he's God, says almost everyone.

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Actually, said some guy named Arius, Jesus is like God, but he's still created by God. There was a

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time when Jesus didn't exist. Bro, that's heresy, said Santa Claus, punching him in the face. So the

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council of Nicaea clarified that Jesus is truly God. Arius got kicked out, and they wrote a statement

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summarizing the basics of Christianity. And the Arians kept trying to creep back into the church,

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but luckily Saint Athanasius was able to defend the true faith, even though he was against the

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world at times. Cool, now we've got Christianity all figured out. Just kidding, we need a second

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council to clarify what the first council meant. The Holy Spirit is also God, just in case you're

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wondering, and Jesus is also fully human, because this one guy thought Jesus had a human body but

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not a human mind. Okay, so he got kicked out, and now we've got Christianity all figured out.

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We know that Jesus is both truly human and truly divine. Some guy named Nestorius said,

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yeah, but humanity and divinity are like really different things, so we gotta separate them.

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The human part of Jesus isn't God, and Mary gave birth to human Jesus but not divine Jesus.

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Bro, that's heresy, said Cyril of Alexandria. The whole point of Christianity is God coming down,

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becoming human, and dying for us. So they had another council, and Cyril wins, and Nestorius

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gets kicked out. They decide that Mary is the mother of God, but some people still side with

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Nestorius. You can make a denomination out of this. Okay, so we know that we can't separate

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Jesus's humanity and divinity. Now we've got Christianity all figured out. Some people really

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want to avoid the Nestorian error, and they don't want to separate Jesus's humanity and divinity,

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so they say they're united in one nature. Hold up, Jesus is one person, but he has two natures.

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That's Nestorian. No it isn't. Yes it is. No it's not. Jesus has two natures. We can't separate them

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like the Nestorians did, but we can't mix them into one like you're doing. He has two natures,

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and they're united in one person. They have another council, and the two natures people win,

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and the one nature people get kicked out. But some people still side with the one nature people

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because they thought the council of Chalcedon was stupid. You can make a denomination out of this.

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Okay, so Jesus has two natures, human and divine. We can't mix them or separate them,

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and Saint Augustine just clarified that we need to depend on God. Now we've got Christianity all

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figured out. Good news, it's now cool to be a Christian. Bad news, a lot of people are only

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being Christian because it's cool. Bro that's so lame, I'm so sick of all these phonies.

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Say the hardcore Christians going off to live in monasteries to show how Christian they are.

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There they pray for hours, deny themselves, and sing Gregorian chants, which are a cool new style

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of music invented by Gregory. Knock knock, it's Muhammad. He's politely asking everyone to become

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Muslim, and when that doesn't work, he asks less politely. So the Muslim armies spread rapidly and

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take over a lot of formerly Christian lands. And if you're someone who's not Muslim living in a

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Muslim land, you need to pay to not be Muslim. And there's a lot of persecution of Christians.

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So in these times, it's very important for the Christians to stick together and defend against

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the Muslim empires. So it's important that Christianity stays united, despite cultural

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differences. Yo, remember the Nicene Creed, the document that says what Christianity is?

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The Pope wants to add something to it to clarify that the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father

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and the Son. Dude, you can't change the Creed, says the Patriarch of Constantinople. Yes I can.

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No you can't. You're kicked out. No you're kicked out. So Christianity splits. You can make

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denominations out of this. Bro, the Muslims keep invading. We should defend our land and maybe even

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retake the Holy Land. It's time for a crusade. They recruited soldiers from everywhere and got

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the war really hyped up. It's going to be the most epic holy war ever, and everyone thinks Jesus is

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about to come back. Maybe the war can reunify East and West. Just kidding, they turn on each other and

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they don't retake the Holy Land. But they do retake Spain and Portugal. That's actually really

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impressive. They reconquered Spain. They retook the Spain-lined church. Very inspiring. Anyway,

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the crusades end up being kind of anticlimactic. They weren't that violent, and they definitely

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weren't nearly as bad as your high school history textbook probably said they were. Despite the fact

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that they didn't do much, there's still a lot going on, because Saint Anselm just figured out that God

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exists. He exists because of the way he is. And just in time for the period of medieval scholasticism,

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Thomas also comes along later and finds other reasons why God exists. He also has a thing where

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he takes non-christian philosophy and makes it christian, because all truth is God's truth. He's

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got a whole system for figuring out everything, and the catholic church gets on board. The orthodox

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church has an alternative. And he's not the only one doing this. Everyone's trying to figure out

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everything. And since we're figuring out everything about God, we should learn about the world as well,

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because the world's God's creation. So they learn about astronomy, the sciences, math, and music,

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and lay the groundwork for modern science, because theology is the queen of the sciences. And they

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start the modern university system and hospital system. Now it looks like we've finally got

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christianity all figured out. Bro, the church is getting kind of corrupt. Yeah, shut up. It's time

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for the black plague. Everyone's dying, and no one knows why, so everyone thinks Jesus is about to

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come back. But after the plague dies down, the church has time to party, so they make a lot of

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really cool art and stuff. It's the renaissance. But who's paying for all this? Easy. The people

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give money to the pope, and the pope gives them less time in purgatory. Yeah, this is really

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corrupt. It's time for some brave man to speak out against this. Martin Luther? No, it's Huss. He's

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gonna reform the church. You can make a denomination out of this. Except it fails, and he gets executed.

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That's too bad. Maybe try again in a hundred years. Martin Luther has something to say. 95 things,

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actually. So he nails them to the door of the church. Maybe he can fix the church. Except no, he

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gets kicked out. But churches keep siding with him, and doing the reformation anyway. So he begins

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reforming the church's teachings, saying that salvation's by faith alone, purgatory's not real,

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and the bible is our ultimate authority. Everything gets really heated, and everyone thinks Jesus is

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about to come back. So the reformation spreads throughout Germany. I wonder if it's happening

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anywhere else. It is, actually, in Switzerland. What if we could unite the two reformations and

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reform the entire church? So Luther meets with Zwingli, the head of the Swiss reformation,

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to see if they agree on the issues.

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Bro, what do you think about the Lord's Supper? So the bread isn't really the body of Christ.

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What do you mean? He says, this is my body. Well, is means represents. No, is means is. Is means is.

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Calm down, Luther. Get out, Zwingli. So that failed, and now there's two reformations. You can

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make denominations out of this. And there's also some radicals who don't want to be part of either,

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because they want to change everything, and that means not baptizing babies.

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You can make a denomination out of this. Man, all these reformations going on,

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Bro, you can't divorce your wife, says the pope. So Henry cancels the pope and makes himself the

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head of the Church of England. You can make a denomination out of this. Looks like Zwingli

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just died, so John Calvin is predestined to take over the reformation in Switzerland,

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and he's predestined to write a big book about a bunch of stuff, including the fact that God's in

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control of everything, especially whether or not you'll be saved. And he wants to unify with the

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Lutherans, so he modifies the reformation. So, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

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with the Lutherans, so he modifies the reformed view of the Lord's Supper. He says we really do

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receive the body and blood of Christ, just spiritually. He sends them his view, but

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they're predestined to leave him on read. John Knox takes Calvin's reformed ideas to Scotland,

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and makes it so that the Church is run by elders. You can make a denomination out of this. But the

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Church of England still isn't sure whether it's reformed or Catholic. I guess it's somewhere in

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the middle. Bro, that's not good enough, say the Puritans, trying to purify the Church of

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England of everything Catholic. You can make a denomination out of this. Some of them give up on

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trying to purify the Church and just run away to America. It takes a bit of time for the dust to

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settle, but once it does, it's time for Protestant Scholasticism. Let's write down everything we

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believe and put our beliefs into neat theological systems. The Dutch Calvinists are writing everything

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they believe, including the whole predestination thing. Arminius is one of them, but he doesn't

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like that part. So in response, the Dutch reformed to clarify what the Calvinist position is.

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But aside from that, this inspires people to start a bunch of universities to study all sorts

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of things. And people's religious beliefs inspire them to make advancements in math, music, law,

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and philosophy. And now it looks like we've got Christianity all figured out. Bro, this is all

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going way too far. We need less of this nerdy theology and more personal piety. Say the pietists

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who think the Lutheran churches are getting way too nerdy. And they invent the concept of a Bible

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study because everything needs to be more personal. Something similar is happening in the

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American colonies, where a bunch of preachers go around and preach personal religious experience

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over religious ritual. Is this a good thing? Churches split over this. One of these awakening

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guys is John Wesley, who wants to awaken the Anglican Church, which he thinks has gotten

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spiritually cold. He starts a movement, which ends up making a denomination out of this.

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So all this questioning of religious authority is leading people to question

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everything, which leads to the Enlightenment. America questions whether they need a king.

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France goes even further and questions whether they need God. I bet they're going to be the

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most enlightened people ever. Oh wait, no, they just killed everyone. Let's not do that. But

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anyway, the Enlightenment makes everything more secular, and some people adopt a more deistic

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view of God, which causes other people to think we need another Great Awakening. People are starting

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to distrust traditional religion. So now we've got revivals, social movements, and societies galore.

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There's also the Restorationist movement, where people try to rebuild Christianity from scratch.

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You can make a bunch of denominations out of this, some of which are actually heretical.

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And do I even need to say it? But that's all going on in America. How's Europe doing?

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Prussia just said the Lutheran and Reformed churches in their country have to unite,

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and they end up just being Reformed. So some of the Lutherans run away to America.

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I wonder how the Catholics are doing. I haven't checked in on them in a while. They just had a

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council where they said the Pope can make infallible statements. Things are pretty crazy

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for the Protestants too. They're being influenced by the Enlightenment, which leads to theological

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liberalism, which is basically where Christians stopped believing in Christianity. You see,

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now we're enlightened. We know miracles can't happen because there's no examples of them

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happening, because all supposed examples of miracles have a natural explanation,

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because everything has a natural explanation, because miracles can't happen. Makes perfect sense.

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So there's no virgin birth, no divine revelation, Jesus didn't do any miracles,

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and there's no resurrection. Bro, you're denying the fundamentals of Christianity,

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say the fundamentalists yelling at the modernists who are beginning to take over the mainstream

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churches. But the instinct of the fundamentalists isn't really to reform the churches. It's more

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like they want to run away, because they're still coming out of the Great Awakening,

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and they're beginning to distrust everything mainstream, like mainstream schools, mainstream

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universities, mainstream science, and they want to retreat from the cities because they think

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Jesus is going to come back anyway, so they should just retreat to the rural areas until that happens.

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And with the fundamentalists gone, it just makes the mainline churches even more theologically

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liberal. Yo, a bunch of people just had some serious spiritual experiences on Azusa Street.

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You can make a denomination out of this. Also, sick of theological liberalism? Karl Barth sure

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is, because after World War I he realized that human progress can't save us. But he's not a

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fundamentalist either, so he has a sort of middle ground. And he signs a statement with Dietrich

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Bonhoeffer saying they're not going to be fascist. And after World War II starts, yeah. After the war

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is over, the state of Israel forms, which causes a rise in dispensationalism, which is where people

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think Israel is going to make Jesus come back. Also, some fundamentalists want a more friendly,

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diet version of fundamentalism, partly because they don't like racial segregation. Speaking of

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evangelicals, a lot of churches are now non-denominational. It's actually Baptist,

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but don't worry about it. And a lot of conservative Christians are flocking to

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these non-denominational churches from the mainline churches, which only causes the

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mainline churches to become more theologically liberal. I wonder what the Catholics are up to.

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They just had another council. They clarified that the Pope is only infallible in very special cases.

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And they said that Protestants are still technically Christian, so that means they

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can start to be more ecumenical. How's the Eastern Orthodox Church? Persecuted. How's

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the Oriental Orthodox Church? Persecuted. Hey, can pastors be women? Yes, said the liberals. No,

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said the conservatives. And the liberals win, so the conservatives get kicked out. Actually,

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no, they don't really get kicked out. But they run away anyway, and they make their

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own evangelical denominations, which only causes the mainline church to get more theologically

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liberal. These evangelical denominations have a new style of worship music, and their numbers

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are rising, even though Christianity in the West overall is collapsing. It's exploding in Africa

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and Asia, though. Hey, can marriage be gay? Yes, said the liberals. No, said the conservatives.

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And the liberals win, so the conservatives run away again. And at this point, the mainline

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churches are so theologically liberal that most of the churches within them don't even really

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believe in Christianity at all. So if you're in America, and you go to the old historic church

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in the center of any given town, like First Presbyterian Church or First Methodist Church

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or First Anything Church, chances are it's a mainline church that's so theologically liberal

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it doesn't even have any real Christian believers in it. There's evangelical churches that have a

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lot of passionate believers, but they're kind of on the outskirts of society. So Western

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Christendom is basically dead. Unless we retake the mainline church.


